I have been a STalker for many, many years. It is a community for venting, getting support, developing strategies for dealing with the Skids, the weak and Disney SOs, the toxic Xs and opposition, and the idiot family court bottom 10%ers of the legal profession minions, and solving problems. We seem to have taken a turn to being much focused on playing games with our Skids and SOs rather than confronting, addressing, solving or at least improving our SParenting issues and relationship situations.

As a community we seem to go through waves of focus as the membership, changes, ebbs and flows.

When I first joined, STalk seemed to be about venting and dealing with Skid issues. Over time it started to shift to battling the Xs and blended family opposition, then evolved to CS and family law issues, transitioned to working with our partners to improve our own comprehensive blended family issues and challenges, progressed to the relative benefits , advantages, and disadvantages to disengagement from our Skids, Xs and in some cases our own partners, and now to an interesting and IMHO an alarming active subversive gorilla campaign of setting up, undermining, and driving the drama and failure of Skids and even our own SOs. All of the elements of SParenting are still present and get air time but I struggle to find a commitment to problem resolution. I would equate it to getting eternal shots of Novocain for a tooth ache rather than fixing or pulling the offending tooth.

IMHO if we do not focus on confronting, conquering, and resolving the plethora of issues in the blended family dynamic then we are just wasting our own time, effort, and emotion on what is ultimately a lost cause.

At what point does a blended family situation and all of the associated problems become our problem to solve rather than just experience and suffer through?

Whether Skids are very young toddlers, preteens, teens, young post teen adults, or fully fledged adults, whether our SOs are full equity partners in our lives together with intermittent addressable issues or incubi or succubae to some level with much larger issues, or whether the Xs/opposition are reasonable or toxic if we do not address the core issues, drive and insist on solutions rather than iterative tolerance of bullshit why are we in the relationships that we are in?

My own situation has become so pleasant that I struggle not to get complacent. I spend a bunch of time working out how to demonstrate to my bride that she is and will always be my muse, my sunshine, and my inspiration without being too sappy on the one hand or on the other hand not to take each other for granted. My Skid is doing well, my family are their usual incredible selves, my ILs are on an extended and decidedly positive and progressing tangent from their usual circular repetitive victimhood and failure path. The strategies that my bride and I have developed, evolved and executed over a couple of decades have delivered defeat of the toxic Sperm Clan and victory for us. We have focused and continue to focus on fixing, eliminating, or circumventing problems and it has worked…. At least for us.

I believe that that even in a SParent/Blended Family situation if problems are clearly identified, isolated, and confronted they can be resolved. To not deal with them is to accept and tolerate them.

Thoughts?

Thanks,
Rags
.