I need someone to talk to about my blended family
My partner and I keep fighting, and every time it seems to get worse and more heated. I love him so much, but I'm really struggling with the amount of time we have the kids and the need for time to myself.
we pick the girls up at 9am every Sunday and drop them off at school on Wednesday morning, so it's literally 50% of the time.
We both work full time (and from home) and I have a very stressful job. By the time saturday rolls around we're both so exhausted from working all week, doing the housework, all the usual life admin stuff, and knowing that we have the kids the following day that it's all we can do to sleep in and watch TV by the time Saturday rolls around. It's very much a day for recovery so we never do anything as a couple together.
we've had no time off together in 2 years without the kids being there the whole time, and next week was going to be the start of 2 long and glorious weeks off together. we've planned days out since we can't afford to go away, including a special day for my birthday that he had carefully planned and which I am so excited about.
now comes the problem that I'm currently grappling with. One of the girls tested positive for COVID last week, as did their mum, their mums partner and one of their kids. My partner agreed that we obviously shouldn't have her this weekend, since she'll be self isolating, but he is insisting on having the other one because she didn't test positive. (This isn't how I wouldn normally refer to the kids by the way, I'm trying hard to be anonymous),
my view on this however is that she has spent an entire week in a house with no less than 4 people who are confirmed covid cases so there's basically zero chance that she either doesn't have it herself by now or is incubating it, so to have her this weekend means that we're at much higher risk of getting covid from her, and that would be the end of our two weeks off and all our plans since we would have to spend the whole time self isolating. It doesn't seem worth the risk for me for the sake of missing one single solitary weekend away from his kids. God forbid.
now it's important to note here that I have actually told my partner several times in the last few weeks that I feel completely burnt out, that I'm running in empty and that I honestly felt like I might have a nervous breakdown if not for these two weeks coming up.
am I selfish for wanting to preserve our break? He honestly doesn't seem to get my point, he's very angry and volition towards me right now and says I'm talking bollocks because it's clear I just don't want the girls here and am grappling for an excuse not to have them(I will admit that the prospect of 10 days without them for the first time ever was not an unwelcome thought. I actually thought it might be good for us as a couple).
so now it's clear he's not going to change his mind, she's coming tomorrow whether I like it or not, and I'm left feeling like my own needs are clearly not important to him, that he doesn't place any value on having time together as a couple, and that I have no say in something I feel very strongly about and that directly affects me. And my only option is just to simply swallow it.
I feel unsupported, unheard, misunderstood, isolated and very angry with no output for those feelings.
someone please help me here...