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I need some advice please.

ads_1978's picture

Hi there

Im needing some advice please. I will do my best to give the short version of the story. My husband and I have been married for seven years. Throughout the entire marriage I was the one that did all of the co parenting with his ex. He works out of town and is gone most of the time. Two years ago he gain full custody of his two boys that are now 11 and 14. Their mother is apparently a drug addict and very abusive and Cps stepped in and took them. They have no contact with her and at the moment do not want any. 

I have been raising them full time for 2 years now. My husband left a year ago. He says he does not want to raise his children and wants me to. Im not sure what to do. I love them and I raise them as my own. The boys do know that we are no longer together and just assume he is working a lot and thats why they really do not see him as much as they should. 

At this point these two boys have two very dysfunctional parents that have screwed with them pretty bad. They have a long list of issues. What do I do? When I move in a few months do I take them with me or do I make their father step up? 

Thank you for your help

Rags's picture

Hopefully you own his worthless ass.  This POS needs to suffer and be living in a gutter because his income is garnished to support the children he has abandoned.

I agree with your family.  You should not be raising your X’s kids while he gets off Scott free. You don’t deserve this and neither do your daughters.

Dont forget to take care of you.

simifan's picture

What piece of shit parents!  Gosh you are in a tough spot. You have no obligation to keep them, but I don't know if I could toss them at someone who really doesn't want them.  Will they be neglected? Will he may CS? How much danger are the children in if they go with him? 

 

I wish you all the best. 

Hfew13's picture

If this is something you want to do and love the boys then take them but you should probably adopt them so neither parent can come after them. Sounds like you are way better for those boys. If you abandon them they will always have trust issues among everything else. Not trying to make you feel guilty just stating facts. Your a good person for raising those boys. Keep it up! 

susanm's picture

If you actually want to raise them then do it but only if he is willing to sign a formal custody order giving you full legal and physical custody and pay full child support.  If not, they are on him.  Pushing them off on you and skipping away scott free is some serious bullsh*t.  And don't skimp on the divorce settlement either.  You deserve some serious compensation for allowing him to bail like that.  Running away comes at a heavy price.  If he wants to go play bachelor boy starting life over then he needs to pay.

Thumper's picture

What BM and DH have done is criminal. I would call the police and report. The kids (poor kids) have a right to be raised by blood kin. IF you want to adopt them you must go thru the legal process. BM and DH must loose their custody rights first, all kin must be asked first THEN if no kin comes forward (no shame for family to say NO to raising them) you could adopt them thru CPS. You will receive maybe 1k a month until they reach 18 for costs. Plus the kids will fall under Medicaid so they have health insurance too.

What your doing is illegal. Sorry.

 

fourbrats's picture

is illegal. Her legal husband left her with the care of the children while he works out of state. They are separated and as the legal guardian he has the right to leave the kids with her. He should be providing financial support but neither party is acting in an illegal way. 

There is also no need for CPS involvement. Every state has a third party custody policy through family court for situations similar to this. She is the acting parent and has been for some time. The courts would grant her custody before other family members who haven't been around.