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I hate this friggering Kid

Belle1984's picture

My husband has three kids from his previous marriage but I can't stand his oldest who is turning 8 in May. He is loud, annoying, inconsiderate, rude, screams all the time, and is physically abusive to the kids. Now even his laugh annoys me. He literally makes me sick to my stomach and it sucks because I avoid interacting with the other two for fear he will be around.

Whenever he is around, he is always screaming (and I mean really loudly) and hitting others. Yesterday at dinner, we had hamburgers and we didn't buy pickles, he blurts out "GUYS, NEXT TIME YOU GO TO THE SUPERMARKET, MAKE SURE YOU BUY PICKLES" Guys????? Who the hell is he talking too?that's I responded with "I AM PRETTY SURE, I WILL NOT BE GETTING ANY PICKLES BECAUSE YOU ARE RUDE and IF YOU WANT PICKLES, YOU CAN USE YOUR ALLOWANCE MONEY TO GET IT IF YOU ARE GOING TO ASK LIKE THAT" case closed. DH is also on board with reeling him and he is always putting him on time out and punishing him for being disrespectful but it still doesn't change the fact that he is unpleasant and I wish he would make a choice to not come to our house on the weekends we have him.

Belle1984's picture

Thanks, I remember responding to a few esp the one about waking up to them ( I hate that). This is our weekend, so I might be posting every hour to vent :)... My sympathies goes out to you as well. Seems like we have many similar issues

jojo68's picture

Rudeness and disrepect are just 0 tolerance things to me...I just don't see how my FDH doesn't absolutely explode at his daughter but he actually acts like he thinks she is just being cute :jawdrop:

jojo68's picture

OMG...this exactly how my FSD is..."Dadddddddddyyyyyyyyyyyy what are we having for dinner" (he doesn't make dinner) "Daddy what is this or why did you buy this" (He doesn't shop)---F'ng drives my bananas.

Belle1984's picture

Thanks Smile

Rags's picture

An 8yo with a mouth would not be able to sit in my home, skid, bio or unrelated and just visiting. I would blister some kid ass if I were you.

Not covered either, I am talking bend over, grab your ankles and get ready for your BARE ass to be lit up!

Belle1984's picture

Totally these kinds of behavior are not a phase like what most people like to say. You need to curb this crap before it becomes a nightmare. He is now rolling his eyes and attempting to be sarcastic. The other night I put him in his place and cut off communication with him because he was rude. I showed him that he was a kid and I am not obligated to interact or do anything for him regardless of how he acts. When he came to dinner, I didn't interact with him but inquired from the other kids about their days and he eventually got the point and came around to speaking politely to me and everyone else at the table. It's a first step I think, now on getting him to be independent and less abusive to others.

sickofitall's picture

}:) Im sorry- the title of your post just made me laugh out loud!I have said that in my head so many times over the years.It was just so blunt. LOL

At least DH is on board and not thinking he's a special snowflake that needs understanding,not correcting. UGH I feel for you. Gotta straighten that kid out and quick.

Belle1984's picture

It's funny but my DH is trying to come up with disorders to try to justify why he is so rude. Told me he thinks his son is ADD. I told him that his son needs consistency and discipline. Disrespect is not allowed in my house because I treat them with respect at all times.

marissamae88's picture

My SO's oldest is nine and when I came in the picture he was 7. Man this kid can throw a tantrum. He was really nice to my face but would make up lies about me to the other family members, he wrote nasty things on our mirror in our bedroom and would blame the other kids. When it was bedtime everyone would be laying down and he would be screaming someone help me! Why god why me?? I hate my life? I was like ooo my gosh I need to get out of this relationship. He was acting that way because he knew his dad was never getting back together with his mom. I baked cupcakes for their school, drove him to boxing, and I cooked him dinner. Everything his mom was supposed to do I was doing and he resented me for it. My SO had had enough. He told him you want to live with your mom thats fine but marissamae88 is not going anywhere. He let it go almost overnight. Now being nine he is the best behaved and I think he is a great kid. So maybe it will pass. I just wanted to give you hope because i used to feel the same way.

Belle1984's picture

Thanks so much for sharing your experience. We are trying to pin point what the problem is and have a difficult time identifying where his angry is coming from because it literally started about 6 months ago. He always used to asked if we were getting married and everything was going fine so I am not sure its stemming from our relationship. In the beginning there were more affectionate but over time I have withdrawn from them and no longer look out for kisses and hugs - DH tells them too but I tell him its not necessary because it isn't for me. That is the only thing that has really changed I think.

From what we have identified this behavior is displayed everywhere not just as our house.I don't play MOM and don't plan on doing so. I will have my own kids and need to dedicate time to my children, they have a mom and dad that can take care of baking cookies, and extra curricular activities. I do create activities for them in terms of crafts, reading and pretty much anything to further their education and fun because again this is what I will be promoting to my own kids and respect is one of those pillars that he needs to get with.

hismineandours's picture

My dh pretty much said the same thing to ss when he was 9-"Obviously you are miserable here-maybe you need to live with mom"-he literally danced with glee and has not looked back since. He turns 13 in a couple of weeks.

marissamae88's picture

Mine did the same thing always asking me when were getting married and when I was going to move in. He seemed so happy with the arrangement and then he acted like this. I was really ready to throw in the towel because I was not going to deal with this every night.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

We deal with similar issues here and there. It was especially bad in the beginning. All I can say is make sure your DH is 100% behind you and then start enforcing punishments. Don't let them see that you are upset or hurt. Stay completely calm (and I know this is hard!) and go straight to a punishment. It looks like the kid is on some sort of power trip and if he sees he's getting anything at all (even an emotional response from you) I think he will simply continue.

EnigmaMCMLXIV's picture

My 45yr old boyfriend has three sons 27, 15, 12 yrs of age. The one I have an issue with is the father and the 12 yr. old. I just got hung up on last night by the father because I was trying to explain to him how I feel about what the son is doing and what him as a father isn't doing.
I have noticed a trend in the last year which kindof makes me want to slap the sh** out of the kid. I have a 23yr. old son who is a wonderful person. He is a University student who worked to pay his student loan etc. he made it his choice to payoff his SL before going back to school. So it's not like I am a terrible person the wicked stepmother.
I will start with the use of vulgar language the 12 yr old feels it's ok to use the word Fu**, Bi***, Cu**, those are the nastier ones. The words are used pretty much in every sentence with his father sitting next to him and no correction, discipline. I had a situation happen last year when we went to get the brat his bike. As the bike was put into my vehicle because his father didn't own one at the time, the kid called me a Cu**. The father didn't even blink. I got upset and told the kid what he has said was inappropriate and I didn't appreciate being called names. His father then wanted to stop at McD to get his kid a flurry. Great! I know what I would have done. Bike back in store kid in bedroom and grounded for two weeks.
This kid also likes to insult his father verbally call him names, also if his father is resting the kid likes to scream out to his father and demand food, or drinks etc. The kid insults his brother who is 15yrs old verbally. The school is sending messages and calling almost every day because of this kids abusive attitude and mouth. His father suffers from depression and stress when this happens and I am with the father the kid decides to live with his mother because he doesn't want to be with his father while he isn't happy. I really don't like this kid. Oh God I don't like this kid. So last night, I was explaining to the father that his son was on the internet as a host for a gaming room. The kid is only 12 and is hosting a room full of adults. The kid told the adults in the room he is 19 yrs. old. So trying to explain to the father this isn't something the kid should do due to the atmosphere in the room based on "age" the father became defensive and asked what the big deal was. I explained that things are talked about in the room and the child is not responsible judge of character actually this kid is like a dirt junkie anything related to sex and opposite sex he is there. I explained that this kid needs some structure, consequences for his actions. He became defensive and told me I was calling him a bad father. I told him he was a father who didn't want to react to his kid because that would require him to do something consistent like pay attention to his kid. That ended the phone call. I know I should just walk away and leave the father to deal with the consequences because they are coming. Also, what I find hilarious is the fact if I correct the kid and send him to his room or tell the kid what he is saying or how he is treating father isn't fair the father looks at me like I just smacked the kid. Do you all agree I should just walk away and never look back? My son definitely thinks the kid is a brat and doesn't want anything to do with him. Can't blame him. I want some advice.