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I don't consider myself the stepson

3dguy's picture

Background short and sweet:

Lived with Dad since parents got divorced. Dad remarries. Dad's new wife moves in with son. New wife and son take over the house. Wife's son and I fight. Dad's wife and I fight. I move out. Wife's son moves out. GREAT. I need to move back in. Wife's son as well as girlfriend and new baby move back in. Tensions arise again. Girlfriend stays home all day with baby. Girlfriend hardly cleans. Dad and wife expect cleanliness. Wife's son and girlfriend hardly clean. I pile there crap left in common area. Tensions arise. Wife's son starts slamming things around. I feel like kicking his ass but won't. Any advice?

dispiritedstepmom2011's picture

this is a stepparenting site for STEPPARENTS to vent about STEPKIDS....my advice is to find a site for skids to vent about the sparents.

how old are u? obviously 18 or over since u have moved out and back in again.

ill try to give advice. here are ur options:

1. only clean YOUR stuff, and some extra cleaning to help out dad/stepmom. do not touch the other's things. just take pride in knowing YOUR stuff isnt cluttering up the place. and trust me, most parents know who is keeping clean.

2. u fix your situation and move out again on your own, or in with another family member or friend. i dont advise u to beat anyone's ass, unless u are hit first, inwhich case defend yourself.

StickAFork's picture

Well, sounds like there's a lot of grown ass, irresponsible adult "children" in this home.
My advice?
Move out.
Time to be a man and take care of yourself.

Not_what_I_wanted's picture

Advice? You are in the wrong place to get sympathy or advice from stepparents. Move out, take care of yourself and stop acting like a spoiled kid. Life is hard, and having kids or stepkids who act like you does not help anyone.

Imthefool's picture

yeah grow up be a MAN move out! Get your OWN LIFE let your father and step mom have their life back its their life not yours, if you want someone to be in charge of be in charge of yourself IN YOUR OWN DAMN HOUSE.

hippiegirl's picture

Well of course there is tension rising! There are too many goddamn people living in that house! If the girl is home all day, why does she not clean? Never understood that.

supermom123's picture

Old Dart, I always love your answers. I'm new here, but I really like the way you state your point without making someone feel horrible about themselves for perhaps asking a dumb question. You gave a good answer to this kid, I hope he reads it.

hippiegirl's picture

Just ignore the mean replies on here. You did bring up a good point, whether you're on the wrong forum or not.

dtzy has a good point...not your responsibility to clean up after these people.

dispiritedstepmom2011's picture

i would like to add that the OP didnt complain about his stepmother...just his stepsiblings. so im not sure why we have some replies indicating the OP is a spoiled brat or not a 'man'.

we have had trolls come on here bashing stepparents and glorifying skids...the OP here was not. while he came to the wrong place to vent, giving him advice isnt the end of the world or the end of our loyalty of hating our skids, bm's, and sometimes our dh's and bf's.

i think because we have had soooo many trolls, we are defensive against anyone NOT in our position....its normal.

hismineandours's picture

I think everyone offered him a viable solution to his problem. All he has to do is leave. If I were over 18 living with my parents, I dont feel like I would have the right to complain about others in the household.

ownedbypedro's picture

ALL of y'all that are over 18 and the baby need to GET OUT and give your dad and his wife some PEACE.

3dguy's picture

Hey everybody thanks for the replies, even to the ones bashing me- thank you too. I knew I was taking a risk in posting on a forum designed for stepparents to vent about the stepchildren, but I needed some really objective points of view. When I wrote my original post I'll admit I was frustrated. I'm a full-time student 8a-5p M-T and 8-1 on Fri with homework ALL the time. If I had the means to move out, believe me I would. But working is not feasible and not suggested by my institution.

Anyway I've read some really intelligent replies. I should mention that I have developed a better relationship with my stepmother. And to those of you who replied who obviously hold much resentment and animosity, let me just say that a damaged relationship can be repaired. Moreover, I have talk to my dad about stebro overtaking the household and not having any consideration for others. He and his wife, my stepmom, both agree there is a problem.

Let me just say that having to be the bigger person has been such a burden on me these past few years in regards to this situation!

Orange County Ca's picture

As a full time student there is no reason for you to move out.

My thought is leave it to the adults in the house. Dad admitted there is a problem but he's got to get along with his wife also. It's likely the solution, if one comes along, won't be sufficient in your eyes but you'll have to live with whatever the owners of the home decide.

Clean up behind yourself as you've been doing and just walk around their droppings. Throw yourself into school, maybe take an extra course next semester/quarter to really keep yourself busy. Spend as much time as you can on campus - study etc. Lots of girls there also was my experience.

Don't add to the problem by messing with their stuff if it can be avoided. I.e. stick silently to the high road. Eventually they'll become personna nongratta I hope.

ybarra357's picture

I’m glad that you are making the effort to get along with your SM and are in school full time. Hopefully this stays the course. My SS21 refused to go to school OR get a job. And the funny thing is, DH blamed ‘the economy’. Sorry, but I called COMPLETE bull$hit on that!! My bioson was able to find a job AND be in school fulltime. Finally my DH and I kicked the loser SS out after he got caught smoking out in the house.

No I’m not saying every SK is like my SS. But they are out there and ready to blame anything or anyone for their crap.

hippiegirl's picture

ybarra....my DH blamed "the economy" for his grown son not looking for work, too. Lol! That's too funny.

And OP....you're right about ALWAYS being the bigger person; it is a burden!