I can’t stand my boyfriends son
I’m about to go crazy, and I totally understand you because I feel like to give up my relationship cuz of his son, I have 2 kids on my own and he has a 8 year old boy, I wouldn’t be so angry at him if I knew he behaved and follow rules but he is not, and he is always want to get my kids in trouble, telling them what to do or how great and better th he is, want tobe the center of the attention especially if my kids are not home he is all over my boyfriend doesn’t leave him alone and I have to lock myself in my room cuz i can’t stand him, it’s though situation cuz I I’m madly in love with my boyfriend, we’ Been together for 4 years and living together for 1 year but it’s been hard for me since he keeps him 50% of the time, I don’t know what tO do, I hate feeling like this, I need advice please.
What does your SO say about
What does your SO say about it? Have you tried to talk to him about the issues you are having? He needs to understand your frustration and that some things need to change in order for you to be happy. If he isn't willing to change anything, you may need to ask yourself if you can live with this child the way things are....and then either move back to your own place, or end the relationship.
Thank you
Thank you for your advice, I did try to talk to him once but he got mad at me and start saying things about my kids, like oh your kids are not angels either, I got that ,I’m not saying my kids are perfect but they are well behave kids and listen to us most of the time, his son say mean things to other kids not anymore tho cuz I made a job jar so when they don’t follow rules they get to pick a paper from the job jar! One time he called a little girl ugly and you can’t play with us you know things like that, I just wish he was different but I’m not his mother and can’t discipline him. I just don’t like to feel so mad everytime is home, especially now that my boyfriend was reading him a book about blended families and he said to him that he doesn’t want him to marry me cuz he doesn’t want me to have more babies, he wants to be the only son! Well that made me even more upset, I know he is only 7 but he is pretty smart and who know if his mom is saying something, I don’t know.
It’s a losing battle. They
It’s a losing battle. They only want you around for sex and to take care of their kid. Focus on you and your kids. Don’t put too much energy or money into them.
Try talking to bf again.
Dr. Laura often times asks callers, Is this how you want to live between NOW and DEAD?
Not all adults bicker that tit for tat junk. Just so you know....I am sorry your bf is playing that. Hopefully he will grow UP and look for a way to fix problems.
YOU can try this if you want to: BF
'I would be more than happy to talk to you about problems you are having with my kids at another time. I came to you because we need to talk to you about blahblah. I am concerned because he smacks Lily on the head when he walks by her. . Can YOU and I find a solution for our home? And also, if there is physical fighting he should know violence of any kind is NOT something you are willing to tolorate and YOU want to find a solution.
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OP: Have you thought about Family Rule Chart? Maybe stick on the chart your family home rule he is breaking?
Big poster board. Find a spot everyone will see. Find 5 to 6 family home rules that are NOT willing to waver on..
No running in the house
NO jumping on furniture
NO fighting (physical or verbal)
Keep bathroom tidy, put the seat down and always flush
One of the worst punishments for kids around age 8, is going to bed early on a Friday night. By early I mean 7pm. NO tv, no xbox in room...zip. IF they are silly enough to jump on the sofa again...well there is another early to bed night again on Sat.
Expect push back like YOU HAVE TOO MANY RULES...my MOM doesnt have rules.
But your teacher and school does right? Live is full of rules. Our family rules are easy.
The tit for tat petty crap
The tit for tat petty crap makes this guy a write off IMHO.
Same
I have two kids ages 6 and 3. My SO has a son who is 10. I can't stand when he comes in our room and sits on our bed. I try to keep my kids from staying in my room so he doesn't think he can but he doesn't listen anyway lol. My room is my only place away from the kids and then Brat has to come sit on the bed.. lord forbid you tell him what to do cause then your head will be bitten off. I seriously can't stand my relationship either, because of his son mainly. He lives with us 7 days a week lol... I cook, I clean, I enforce the rules (for my kids) lol but I still I have to take care of brat. It's so annoying, if I had a way out I would leave in a heart beat! I don't have a car, I don't have a job, I don't have anything. I do not want to feel like a child in my own home anymore. Brat literally comes first before anyone. He gets more for Christmas and whatever he want even not on the holidays. My SO is the biological dad of my 3 year old and he still doesn't do anything for him. Like wtf! Not to mention my SO PoS is mentally and emotionally abusive towards me. I've considered homeless shelters just to get away from this situation.