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I am starting to dislike DS12

melw3's picture

I have 6 kids living at home SS17,SS12,DD11,DD9,DD6 and DS6months ( he is ours),there is also a SS21, SD18 and SD14 that either live indepently or with the BM. When we told the kids we were having DS we had SS12 run off and sulk, SD18 saying that her father couldnt have more kids since by the time our son was born she would have 2 kids, and SD 14 just beinga typical teenanger and it changed monthly whether she talked to her dad or not.
SD18 and SD14 didnt see my son until he was around 5 months,but have seen him a few times since.
The main issue i have is with SS12 because he lives with us 90% of the time (as do my DD's) he ran off and sulked when we sat down and told the kids we were having DS and when he was brought to the hospital with my DD's by his father to see his brother he had a tantrum which DP was quite ebarrassed by as we had a lot of his family there. Now he sits there and baby talks to DS, and when SD14 comes over he whispers to his father to ask if SD14 can hold DS6months
this is really starting to grate on me. I want all the kids to get along as a family and I ensure we do things as a family so no one gets left out. DP and i have been together 3 years but i dont trust or like DS12, he is nasty to my DD11 and in the past has stolen money from me and DD11 as well he is sneaky and has been the source of many an argument with DP of which i come out the bad guy because SS12 has a tantrum for something i told him not to do. He gets grounded for smoking and breaking a laptop but it is only that he has o stay homeand cant go to the skate park, he still gets to go on the net or play xbox etc.
This child leaves a bad taste in my mouth, i cant trust him though i want to and try to, I dont like him around my kds although i try not to worry as he has threatened them and if no one is around will hit or kick just because.
I find myself wishing he would go and live with BM even though i know he is better off with us.

smartone's picture

Here are the facts of this boy's life that I can pull together from your post.
At some point, his parents divorced.
He either moved with a parent, and/or started visiting a parent (and did not see him/her regularly anymore).
His bm is crap.
His parents had 5 kids, he WAS the baby.
Dad remarried, possibly another move?
New step siblings came into his life. He is no longer the baby.
His 18 yr old sister has 2 babies?
He and his siblings were separated at some point.

Has ss12 ever had counseling? I can't possibly imagine all of these changes by the age of 12 and a child coming out the other side normal without some sort of help. His behavior is not just annoying, it is a sign of needing help. I'm guessing too much has been going on for anyone to really notice.

melw3's picture

bc1983 that is what he is like,one minute behaving like a 5 year old and the next wanting to be teated like an adult
Smarttone, iam sure he was taken to see a councillor when his BM left, you are right on most of your assumptions, his mother left for another man which didnt last long, then took a long time to find a house and while looking lived with numerous people, his siblings are separated, SD14 lives with her mum and that is where SS12 wants to live but my DP wont let him.
Yes SD18 has 2 kids of which DP was not too impressed about and wouldnt acknowledge her for a while ( it is a very complicated family)
We did move 18 months ago as DP wanted to be closer to some of hs family.We are still less than an hour from the BM and most of the siblings which he sees on a regular basis

melw3's picture

dtzyblnd this is how i feel too, hate the feeling of "dobbing" to DP but i cant do anything myself and if i ddntsayanything DP would go on knowing nothing