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I am overwhelmed

centerofchaos's picture

Combined we have 7 kids from 18yrs to 10 months
3 stepkids
2 I brought to the marriage
2 we had together
We've been married almost 8 years

We get the skids every single weekend, every single schoolbreak, summer ect..

the custody order is the standard EOW, but we haven't followed that for years...

What gets my panties in a bunch now is that we have the Bio mom's /skids' counselor calling us and advising that we should do this, we shouldn't do that...

um.. what business is this of hers?
She is not CPS, she is not a court-ordered counselor

and she had the audacity to tell me, that this was NOT my concern, that this was between the Bio dad and Bio mom...

I'm beyond angry to say the least.

Its NOT her concern either ! She is not in any fashion related biologically or stepwise to the family !

ideas to help me get over my anger?

centerofchaos's picture

forgot to add, I also work full-time
I love my job
I'm starting to hate being home because of all the kid drama..
bio mom doesn't work, so I don't get why she needs a break every single weekend. Where is my break ?
And my husband works every single weekend, so its ME watching all of these kids.. every single weekend...

"none of my business" ?? oh yes, I'm angry

folkmom's picture

well if the order is EOW...why in the world do you take them every weekend? espcially since hubby is not home? how about you put your foot down and say NO.

StepChicka's picture

7 kids WOW! Take a deep breath girl. Anyone in your case would feel the same as you do. What has DH said regarding the counselor? That was quite rude of her to say those things to you especially since you are the major caretaker in your household. But, in some respects it's true. This counseling appointment is about DH and BMs kids. Still she didn't need to be nasty

It doesn't sound the schedule is working that well. The idea of it is missing the mark. Either your DH needs to change his schedule to be with his kids on the weekend or take the kids a few nights during the workweek. He and the skids are not spending time together therefore a revision needs to be made. Perhaps that is why BM is wanting him included in the counseling appointments. I sure she sees that its only the women in the households raising the children...not her XH. Me, as a biomom, wouldn't dig that either. The kids would be better off without the disruption of going back and forth since there's really nothing to be gained..ie no quality time with dad.

centerofchaos's picture

Srry I didn't back sooner, I decided to take everyone outside into the sun. Sun usually gets me in a better mood :o)

No, everyone knows that its "Me" watching all the kids and my husband changing his work schedule is simply not an option at this time.

The reason we take them every weekend is because Biomom "needs a break"

now, biomom and I actually do get along and talk on the phone to resolve problems re: the (s)kids together.. she is fully aware of who is watching the kids :o)

I think what got me upset was the counselor telling me to "butt out" basically, in that these children "are not my concern" yadda yadda...

ummmm.. I will be here, God-willing, for another 30-40 years (I'm 40), where will this counselor be?

The sun helped.. now we're off to the park to play tennis

folkmom's picture

who cares if she needs a break> she chose to give birth. if it was an intact family, she would sure as hell not be getting every weekend of her life off from kids.

they are not your kids. and they are not seeing their dad.

so what are you? the BABYSITTER.

soverysad's picture

I agree. Screw her! Get along or not, you are not alive to give her a break. She chose to have kids. What would SHE do if you weren't married to dh? Both of them would have to figure it out.

"That's how women are, aren't they? We want to know that others have been where we've been, who understand our fragile places, and who see our sunsets in the same shades of blue" - Beth Moore