How do step parents deal?
So here's the thing, I've been with my bf for 2 years now. He has a 3 year old daughter in Haiti so for me it's almost like he doesn't have a child since he himself never sees them or hear from them because of issues with the mom. My issue is he is filing for her to come to America which I think is great BUT I told him from the beginning that I don't date guys with kids because I don't want to have to deal with the child's mother or any issues with the child. He was fine with that because I wouldn't have to. Things obviously have changed. He really want me to play that mother role for her since her mom will be pretty much not in her life but I don't think it's going to work out. I know the obvious solution would be to leave right but I can't because me and him are having a baby and I don't want a broken home. It's kind of a lose lose situation. I was hoping that someone living this can give me some insight...
Sweetheart, you are stuck! I
Sweetheart, you are stuck! I was going to tell you to run now until you said you are having a baby with him. You had to know that there was at least a possibility that his child would be in the picture at some point in life. This is the problem with baby mommas, they don't think about the future. Do not become one of those!!!! Being a step parent is hard, no matter what age or situation, and I cannot think of one instance of a baby momma NOT being a problem. You say you don't date guys with kids but you stayed with him anyways. I'm hoping that means you have enough love for him to stick this out, otherwise you wouldn't have gone against your own rule. Do what you gotta do and continue to read posts from us fellow stepmoms so you know what you're in for
Good luck and congrats on your baby!
It is rough! There's always
It is rough! There's always going to be an issue with something at some point. I saw a great quote on here "Friends don't let friends become stepparents". Now, I'm speaking from the SM point of view. SD's seem to have it a much easier. Out of 12 years, DH has never had an incident with BD. BD's entire family fawns over DH, praising him on how he's a great dad and everything else. Now, BD is a major POS, but we're civil.
Now, DH's BM is a vindictive, manipulative, overall BITCH! I'm stuck until SD turns 18 and forget counting the years, I'm counting weeks,days,seconds, EVERYTHING!
I wish you the best of luck!
I was/am in the same
I was/am in the same situation as you. My DH never saw his kids and they didn't affect my life until we had a baby and he decided he should be a dad... I know thats the right thing to do but thats not what I signed up for. I was going to leave when I was pregnant but thought I would try to make it work for our son....Let me tell you things have only gotten worse. We can't stand each other and I hate his kids. I resent them and him and I am unhappy. This is no way to live. Leave now before your child is old enough to understand that you have split and find happiness with someone else. He is changing the plan and that is not fair to you. Being a step mom when you didn't want to be is the worst thing ever!N
Being a stepmom sucks, plain
Being a stepmom sucks, plain and simple. My DH and I have been together for 3 years and he has a 4 year old daughter who I have not been able to stand from day 1. I don’t know why I stayed. I had nothing holding me down but I stayed. I was also going to tell you to run until I saw that you are expecting a baby. You said the kid is in Haiti- is the BM going to be in the picture when the kid comes to the country? Things might be a little easier is BM isn’t involved- they are worse than the skids!