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Here we go again!! The entitlement!!

Biostep7777's picture

So, my daughter is turning 13. It's a pandemic so I am not throwing a party. She has a couple friends that we have quarantined with since March. We decided to take a short little girls trip. I'm taking her and two of her friends. Just a little Airbnb for an overnight. No biggie! 

my youngest SS is throwing a complete fit! He's saying of this was HIS birthday that we would all go and why can't he go and how unfair it it. 

Well here's the thing, he likes to do sports. We spend a RIDICULOUS amount of money on sports. My daughter only does track through school and that's not happening right now. SS has gotten to do everything he wants. All his sports kept going. This is what he enjoys doing on the weekends so this is what they do. My kids and I like to do trips, so that's what we do on the weekends. This is a little girls trip to celebrate her birthday. He's asking "what else is she getting?  Otter gifts??" 
Child....we just spent $2000 freaking dollars on BASEBALL!!!! That's what YOU choose. That's what YOU are doing this weekend. I'm so sick and tired of them expecting an explanation of anything I do for MY KIDS. Grrrrrrr!!!! I'm fuming this morning. FUMING! 

Gimlet's picture

Oh yikes, your husband is raising a real brat there.

I would be tempted to put a spreadsheet together so he can see how "fair" things are, wtih the caveat that the "unfair" difference would be made up in chores at the going rate.

But, in reality, you husband should be squashing this the moment it happens.  It is 100% not any of his business. 

Gimlet's picture

Honestly, your DH needs to make this sort of behavior have consequences.  He's 12 years old, getting that much money spent on his baseball and he wants to complain that your kid is getting a weekend trip?   And having the audacity to question YOU on what other gifts your daughter is getting?

Whatever your husband is doing needs to be more painful.  He needs to lose something of value every time he pulls this.  What a spoiled brat. 

P.S. Totally understand why you're tired of this.  It would wear me out too.

CastleJJ's picture

"Fair does not always mean equal"... that's your new mantra.

He is a child and you do not owe him an explanation. It's as simple as that. We don't have to justify our actions to children or BM for that matter. 

Winterglow's picture

You want to me to believe that his own mother doesn't go overboard for HIS birthday events? If he wants stuff, tell him to ask HER. You are not HIS mother and you are entitled to do what you want with your own daughter.

tog redux's picture

Mothers like this are only interested in looking like good parents, not actually being one. She may not go over the top for him unless it makes her look good.

Biostep7777's picture


tog redux's picture

It's her party, she invites who she wants to. DH and the other kids aren't going either, it doesn't appear.


Biostep7777's picture

They are not going because they have sports this weekend and that was their choice to prioritize sports which is completely great!! However, that does not mean my kids have to sit at home and not take a trip with their mom because they don't get to go because of their choice to do sports. I'm so sick of this shit! 

GrudgingSM's picture

It blows my mind that step kids feel the stepparent owes them as much or more than step parents can give their own bios. If you want to trip take one with your own d@mn mom! I swear to god my physical and mental health has taken a steep downturn in this relationship.

futurobrillante99's picture

I agree. I'd be tempted to ask him, "SS, you have a mother. I'm not your mother but you seem to think I should treat you like you are my own child. And yet, you don't treat me like I'm your own mother. Explain to me how that's FAIR?"

ndc's picture

Doesn't your husband HAVE to take this kid to baseball? Isn't yours the BM who insists upon this? Remind the spoiled brat of that, and have your husband have a chat with him about his poor, entitled behavior. Your husband should be mortified. 

futurobrillante99's picture

$2000 on baseball!!??

I'd be tempted to say, "OMG, SS. You're right, this isn't fair. Hey DD, here's $2000 for your birthday."

Survivingstephell's picture

He has two parents that can take care of him. Your job is to take care of yours. That point does have to pointed out to brats like this. We had to point it out.  I'd be tempted to cut his investment in sports down some.  Take that extra time and find charity work to do.  

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

I would flat out tell him he has two parents and you are not one of them, you are not having this conversation with him. Those issues are his parents responsibility.

Dogmom1321's picture

It's not your responsibility to throw parties or do ANYTHING for your SS for that matter. Next time he asks, "why don't I have..." 1. Tell him to take it up with his Bios 2. Tell him he doesn't need to worry about what you're doing for YOUR daughter It doesn't concern him and finances aren't his business 3. I agree with the above "Fair doesn't mean equal"


Where is your DH in all of this?!

Biostep7777's picture

He told him all of this. I just happened to have the displeasure of being in the same room overhearing all of this. Ugh!!! DH told him he takes trips with his mom and I take trips with my kids. Thaf they are playing sports this weekend which was their choice and we are going on a little trip which was the girls choice. 

these kids actually think we should revolve around their schedule and sit home and not do anything if they have other obligations. Absolutely NOT!!  He said if he doesn't get to go nobody should. At this point I was fuming and DID chime in and said "well if that's fair to you then should we tell you that you can't do sports because my kids don't?? If nobody should be able to do things that others don't than no more sports. It's not fair that you get extremely expensive sports and they don't right??" 
That ended that! I was sooooooo mad!!!