HELP ME PLEASE....I need to vent
I hate being a step mum.......my partner of 3.5 years has a 6 year old daughter. Although she is incredibly bright and intelligent she acts and still does stuff that 3-4 year olds do. She can’t brush her teeth for herself, can’t get herself a drink, always asks for food every 2 minutes then never eats it, talks in this most annoying babish voice that it’s like listening to someone scratching a black board with their nails. I can’t say she is a naughty kid, cause she’s not. She’s just a spoilt, painful, high maintenance kid that I am having trouble connecting with. Around her dad she is such a goody good it’s sickening. Always craving affection, kisses and cuddles and talks to him like....dada I lovey lovey you poo poo.....and she even says.....oh dada googo gaga......honestly sometimes I just want to rip her voice box out.
I have a 7 year old girl. Don’t get me wrong she’s not perfect either, but at least she acts and does things that a 7 year old does – yes my daughter sometimes answers back, and doesn’t listen but she also talks properly, brushes her teeth without any assistance, gets herself food and drink when she needs, puts dishes in the dishwasher, shares toys etc – she’s been doing these kinds of things since she was at least 4. There is 15 months different between the two girls but you would think there was 3 years with the things they do and how they communicate.
My partners family are fantastic – I love them very much but lately I have notice they treat the step daughter quite differently to my daughter.....My in laws let my step daughter get away with everything and baby’s her. The two girls will be playing a card game and should my daughter win the step daughter has a mini break down and so my daughter is told (in a nice way) to go easy on the step daughter cause she is only little so then my daughter will let the step daughter win and the whole family do the big high fives with the step daughter and rub it into my daughter that she just lost?? I mean, WTF?
SD doesn’t play well with other kids either. I have 8 nieces and nephews....all normal (not perfect either but not horrible kids). Let’s say all the kids are in the backyard playing tag, the step daughter is right into it, having a blast and then she gets tagged. When this happens she says “I’m not playing now” and will go off into the house to watch TV.....so the game starts again without her and she’ll come back out after 5 minutes and wants to play again and then she gets tagged again and the same thing happens. Then my partner or if his family are around will say, hey you kids, don’t leave step daughter on her own....involve her in the game please. They try and tell the adults what she does but they all say, it’s ok cause she’s only little. One of my partners brothers was playing catch with my daughter, step daughter and another one of his nieces who is 8. My daughter and the niece were catching and throwing the ball back to their uncle and the step daughter couldn’t catch or throw back properly.....so she got upset and in a whiny baby voice says “uncle, can we play something else just you and me” he said that’s not fair on the other two so she performed, crying, hyperventilating etc until she was almost sick and then he gave in and the other two kids had to go and find something else to do.
My step daughter comes every other weekend and now it’s got to the point where my daughter asks to go to her dad’s on the weekends the stepdaughter is here. I hate that my own daughter doesn’t even want to be at her own home anymore. I have tried talking to my partner about it but he gets defensive and we end up arguing. I love him with all my heart and am so confused about what to do. The last thing I want is to cause a rift and also start treating my daughter in the spoilt manner that my step daughter is treated. I can see frustration building in my daughter that the step daughter gets help with everything from brushing her teeth to putting a plate in the dishwasher. On so many occasions when I ask her to do whatever she would say but step daughter doesn’t have too....and I can now hear myself saying (to keep the peace) well she is only little!!! I am starting to dislike myself and resent my step daughter. Please help!