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Help! Inappropriate SS and

amylynn411's picture

To make a long story short I am married to a great man and we have two boys together, 5 yrs and 2 years old. I also have a step-son that is 12 years old and only child. I have known him since he was 5 and he has been through a lot considering divorce, etc. His mother is crazy to say the least and involves him in all the adult stuff. So, to sum it up he has "daddy issues".  He does not care for my 5 year old becasue he has really bad jelousy issues from the time he was born til now. But now comes my problem..He is very sexually inapproprate with his grandparent just when he stayed this last summer and who knows who since we only have him EOW,  but now he likes to be touchy feely with my two year old and consitantly handing on my husband. I do not allow him to be without an adult and my husband agrees. Those are other issues as well but would be to much so this is my most concerning one. I need some advice. Just a few days ago I had a breaking point and got after him and told him to leave. (wasent my proudest moment, I am ashamed I said that) I always left the parenting to my husband because this is not my child and my husbands ex said that aswell so I disengaged and have since left that be. After I got after just a few days ago, he then continued to call my husband parents, siblings, and even my parents to basically get me into "trouble". I now have my in-laws and brother in-law thinking that I'm a bad person and my in-laws told my husband I need bible studies. I am lost for words. I have tried to be supportive but have come to the point where I just can't. Would it be all odd for me and my kids to leave when he comes EOW. Would it be odd to suggest if he wanst to see his son EOW they can get together by themselves. I really dont want him in my house. He is know to steal and rumage through our things. I'm lost for words. I would appreciate any advice. Help!


amylynn411's picture

He is telling them everything is fine, no worries. But of course his step son had to put tears on making it worse and then the next day acted normal as can be. To make worse I had one glass of wine that evening and my SS told them I was an Alchoholic...Now I just feel mortified. I have really become to dislike him and dont want to see him. 

SteppedOut's picture

Bleh. Yeah, if I had to worry about skid inappropriately touching my kids, he wouldn't be in my house. 

I did leave my SO because his son was displaying dangerous behaviors toward my babyBS (SO's son also). Nothing was being done to correct such behavior, excuses were made; I knew it would never stop. That was my last straw in addition to other nastiness relating to skid. 

Only you can decide how much to put up with yourself and how much you want to be worried about your kids. For me, this would be a deal breaker. 

amylynn411's picture

You make a great point. The more I think about it my husband should of did more about it. Instead he told my SS that I did not mean to say the things I did. He should of said that I should not be anyone elses business.

fourbrats's picture

ago the child was 10 and you hadn't seen him for over two years. He was estranged and just entering the picture. 

How was he sexually inappropriate with an adult? And what are you thinking is too touchy feely with a two year old? My kids were always wrestling, hugging, etc their younger siblings. They still hold, hug and even wrestle with their much younger cousins. There is nothing sexual about it. 

I think further clarification is necessary about the ages, the situation, etc. 

amylynn411's picture

I have three brothers so I do know what is appropriate. He does not wrestle or hug. I didn’t want to get to detailed but when he was with his grandma he a handful of times tried to touch her lady parts and also insisted to shower with her and when he was told no he got angry. This is just one example. With my boys he consistent talks about there body, how it’s shaped etc and with my two year old going up to him he grabs him etc. he’s not any better in school and if extremely degraded about the little girls in his school. This is at a minimum. I’m just a step mom looking for advise. We have had a fought few years. Wish I could explain my whole situation where everyone could completely understand. Thank you. 

Rags's picture

If there is any indication that he is mollesting  your children then take this out of the hands of the naive family and get CPS envolved. Force therapy on this kid.  Get  him in the system where he will have both consequences and support for working through his issues before he evolves into a full blown sexual preditor.

This kid is a manipulative evil little shit and he needs to be confronted each and every time he pulls this kind of crap.

Now, rather than telling him to "leave" just ad "the room" on the end of the comment so that it cannot be twisted for naive family sympathy.

Bible study is great for spiritual guidelines but ... this is not a spiritual guidline issue.  This is you and your two young sons being vicitmized by a 12yo manipulative shit of a prior relationship crotch trophy.

Zero tolerance!