Help! I need advise!
I know this is long, but please read I really need some help!I have been married now for 9 months. My husband and I both have 10 year old sons. They are about a month apart. The problem comes with both discipline and house rules. We've had to make some compromises (like on Mature video games, etc.) because I tend to be stricter than hubby. So, my stepson resents this and blames it on me that he can't do things that he was once allowed to do. At this point if I even speak to him he breaks down and cries or becomes beligerant. He is with us every other week and my son is with us all the time with every other weekend at his dad's house. With them both being the same age it presents a problem. For instance, if I tell my son to go brush his teeth and get ready for bed, he wants to know why SS doesn't have to do the same. If I tell SS to do the same he has a breakdown. Hubby is very laid back and might never tell anyone to do anything if left alone with the kids, but I have a hard time compromising things that I've always thought were important. I have always given my son chores, just simple things like taking out the trash, but now he feels like things aren't fair if step brother doesn't have to do it and asking SS to do anything is way to much of a battle to be worth it...So does that mean that my son never has to do anything anymore since SS thows a tantrum? Oh, I should also mention that SS developed a cough over about 6 months that we figured out (after tons of doctors visits) was all in his head as a result of his stress. His doctor recommended counseling since he isn't dealing with the changes in his life well. Hsi biological parents have halfway taken him to counseling and I don't feel like it should be my responsibility to take off work to do it or give up my afternoons with my son to sit at the counselor's office. It just seems to me that our lives now revolve around SS and his so called problems and because my son isn't having all these adjustment issues he just gets overlooked. By the way SS doesn't have a terrible life, two parents who are sharing custody, two step parents who are trying to help out as much as possible, two nice houses, lots of good stuff and clothes - basically he has a great life. What do I do? I am open to any and all suggestions!