Going crazy!
My husband and I have been married for 4 years now and have 2 children together, a 2 year old son and an 8 month old daughter. When I met my husband I knew he had a daughter but he had no contact with her. (it's a long story, but it wasn't his fault) A little over a year ago we moved a few hours away from his daughter and after fighting it in court he got visitation for every other weekend. This was fine at first beacause she was only here on the weekends and any annoying and bad habits she had were only dealt with for a couple of days. About 2 months ago my husband decides, with out consulting me, that he was going to talk to his ex wife about my SD moving in with us, and she agreed. As awful as I sound, and feel, I really cannot stand my SD. She's only 9, and I feel like a monster but she's just not normal. She lies about EVERYTHING, has never once said thank you for anything, never asks for things, just tells you what she wants. Shes just weird. I love kids and have never nit been able to connect with a child. Every other kid that I've met has been so much fun and I feel like she's just a dud. She doesnt get excited when i try to do things for her, not because shes not animated, its more like she just expects you to do it for her. Which is odd to me because her mother didnt have 2 pennies to rub together so where she gets her sense of entitlement is beyond me. My husband and I have not stopped fighting since she came to live with us and I'm afraid that we're really headed for a divorce. I feel really hurt and betrayed by him and he just doesn't understand where I'm coming from. Because she lies about everything and I see right through it, I always call her out on it. My husband immediately gets defensive for her and we end up fighting. Then it'll come out several hours or days later that I was right all along, but I still get no apology and she gets 5 minutes in the corner. At this point what do I do? I really feel like my family is falling apart for a child my husband has only known for a year.
I should also mention that my
I should also mention that my husband does discipline her for lying and doing poorly in school and for having no manners. She just doesn't care and doesn't change. For a year now we have been telling her to say thank you and she just refuses to. How flipping hard is it to say thank you. She's also completely disgusting. She would never shower or brush her teeth again if we didn't constantly tell her to. Which I find bizarre fir a girl to not mind being filthy like that. I just don't understand how a kid who can be disciplined for the same things over and over again just doesn't change. I really think she just doesn't give a sh*t and it drives me insane. I'm terrified my little ones are gonna pick up on her behaviors!
I'm sorry you have to deal
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I know what it's like to have a nasty sd full time. My sd is 8 and I can't stand her. The hygeine thing is the same. She hates taking showers, its a fight to make her every time and refuses to wipe her ass so she always smells like poop. I also worry about my little one picking up on her behavior but I won't tolerate it. Since your dh takes her side with lying and stuff if I were you I would just let her be his problem and stop caring about what she does. Think of her as somebody else's kid who's not your problem. Don't do anything for her since it's not appreciated. Counseling might help too
You don't sound like a ditzy
You don't sound like a ditzy blond to me! You are so right. It is so hard to see Disney dads make excuses rather than parent. My SD was past her formative years too so there was no way I was getting in. I wonder what the dynamics are in step relationships that work. Maybe if I realized sooner that it wasnt my job to teach her manners or hygiene or how to dress and that it was no reflection on me if she never learns these things. It still makes me nauseous to hear her eat (I start to dry heave if I watch). But it's not gonna change and I can't make it. Afterward the loud and odd burping begins and DH shows empathy by joining her. I can see the occasional burp...but when it's every time? Disgusting.