This is going to be awful
so someone called child protective services on crazy bio mom. (I had before but they sent us a letter telling us to just get along! Ha!)
she's a shit person and a shit mom and gives the kid to my BF's mom on her days anyways.
well I guess a bunch of people have sort of called her intervention style and demanded she relinquish custody of bf's kid to him.
this is going to be an incredible stress on our relationship. We just spent $600K buying a building to Grow our business that we take over in a month. So the next 3-6 months (likely a year) are already going to be insane. If you read any previous posts of mine, you'll know I struggle with his kids' behaviour and BF doesn't have the intentions to do anything about the behaviour issues. I've disengaged from his kid entirely and gained some of my sanity back.
i don't know how we are going to do it. I'm already quite ill and struggling to manage stress. I mean, He willingly, knowing how she was, had a baby with her; as much as I adore BF, I'm not sacrificing my sanity to clean up his mess because she's upping and running off to some centre where she doesn't have to cook or clean or work and she just has to talk about her feelings. Sorry, but we've already done this before, and i watched BF tear his life to pieces trying to keep a relationship between his kid and the psycho by driving 3 hours one way to visit. Last time she didn't even want to come out of rehab because real life is hard. Then I watched BF and his mom enable her behaviour and now they're all surprised! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! F*ck
I have a huge load on my shoulders between being the head of running the business and my own 2 boys. BF has said that basically the only way for it to work is for me to either go open the business at the crack of dawn and he gets the kids ready for school or I do it. I just want to take care of my kids and he takes care of the mess he's created. I feel like an awful person, but he knew what she was and thought a baby would help her! HAAAAA!
Im realizing how spiteful I am and this is bringing up so many of the bad fights and experiences that we had during the first go round at rehab. I can't even stand the sight of him, which I know is ridiculous because frankly he doesn't have a choice.
It sucks for the kid, but the fault lies on those 2 idiots for having a kid. frankly, neither one of them should have ever had a kid at all. She doesn't want him and BF has no clue what he's doing and even when I use my gentle words, he's unreceptive to talking about behaviour.
*sigh*
i feel like a selfish, shit person, so no need to tell me I am. I just have no one to talk to IRL and need to get it out. I honestly don't see us making it through this as a couple. Our relationship is shit when he has his custody week, And we are locked in tight as business partners (which is something that took me a year to decide to do!!). I feel like such an idiot.
" BF has said that basically
" BF has said that basically the only way for it to work is for me to either go open the business at the crack of dawn and he gets the kids ready for school or I do it. "
Have him look into hiring an older lady to come in each morning to get his kid up and off to school. She can be there in the mornings and after school until he is back home. It doesn't have to be him or you. A in-house morning/afternoon lady would give him and you both a chance to get up, see the kids a bit (without the breakfast fixing and kid delivery). You can both be around to open the business and not have to worry about any of the kids.
Once he is home at the end of his work day, his kid becomes his problem as your kids become your problem.
And no, unless someone such as the grandma has time to drive/visit the BM at whatever BM gets spent off to, he has no time starting up a business , caring for a kid and taking kid to see BM. Nope, no can do. If it must be done, he's have to find a dependable person to make the trip with the kid.
Being his choice of mothers for his child, he always knew when he bought and went into starting up this new business that the crazy BM thing was a possibilty and he would still be responsible for the kid and the business. No dumping kid on you. Time to man up, Daddy.
Thank you.
Thank you.
my thought (I haven't posed it to him yet) is that he can take his kid to work and there is a taxi company renting office space off our new property; he can arrange them to drive him to school, o can take care of my kids and be in the office by minutes after 9. I'm sure he'll scoff, but so be it. He has to find a way to work around it; because I'm not the answer.
The BM and what is best for
The BM and what is best for the Skid issues aside.... the one advantage that an NCP has is that while they may have COd visitation... they cannot be forced to take it. If the custody week schedule doesn't work for him... he can just take the parts of his CO'd visitation that will work.. BM is on the hook for kid care when it is her time... and when it is BF's time if he chooses not to take his time. Any CO'd time that he does want to take... BM has to facilitate that visitation.