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Feeling guilty!

sarebear's picture

I am so tired of my DH always talking about his DD6. She seems to be at the forefront of his thoughts and yes, he adores her which is as it should be. But he's blind to the fact that she's a brat. He knows I am annoyed by her babyish behavior and tired of how she plays with our own little ones (snatching, teasing, tattling, screaming). So last night after he was talking about how much he enjoys her (immediately after we had an intimate encounter) I just lost it and said, "I'm so sick of hearing about that f#%*ing brat!" and I stormed out of the room. Normally we're both very low key so this was a startling move on my part.

Of course I then apologized for losing it but went on the explain that I just can't seem to get the familial feel for his kids, try as I might. I can't stand to be around them mostly because of their obnoxious behaviors but also because I don't "get" them. They are not at all like me. I don't understand how I can feel sooooo connected to my DH but so disconnected to his kids. I try to keep positive but half the time they are with us, I just withdraw.

sarebear's picture

Thanks, I do tend to pressure myself but I know I need to quit that!

BTW, my DH said that it would never happen again! But I just hate the way I just blew up like that but maybe it was necessary.

Saf102512's picture

I had a similar blow up at my dh talking about his "sweet angel" (bratty 8y/o who is downright obnoxious and annoying).. Ever since then he doesn't talk to me about her. I felt bad after and said sorry that I had a bad day with her.. Truth is I can't stand her any day and I don't see how my dh loves her so much. He's the only one who's capable of it though, her mom left, she can't keep friends and even her grandparents can't stand to spend more than an hour or so with her. I hate obnoxious kids so I totally feel your pain. Hopefully he won't talk about her to you now. Maybe I can give him my dh's phone number & they can gush over their perfect angels. SICK!

sarebear's picture

LOL! Sounds like a plan!

Both my skids have ZERO friends for the same reasons. I wish they could make them but I've watched them interact with others their age and it's no wonder they are loners. That's so sad, I know but get a clue. Apparently BM is obnoxious and rude too.

So, I DO want my DH husband to adore her because I don't think she gets it from anyone else either. And I don't want him to be a afraid to talk to me about her but he needs to get a little grip. He doesn't talk about his son or our own children as much as he talks about her. Every time she is with us they are always hanging out together but that's because she follows him all over the place demanding his attention while my SS is glued to a screen of some sort, and I'm with our toddler twins because I want them to have very little influence on them.

Orange County Ca's picture

Hopefully he's learned to keep his mouth shut on that subject.

Meanwhile as long as the kid is not aware of your dislike for her nobody expects you to love her - just treat her like you would expect your kid to be treated at her Mom's house.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

hismineandours's picture

I think adults worshipping their kids is weird. Period. I have 3 bios-I think they are pretty neat but I dont go on and on about them to anyone. In fact, you'd be more likely to hear me complain to dh about my kids behaviors rather than talk about how much I adore them. I mean how many times can you say how great a kid is? Especially after an intimate encounter? That's not what I'd be thinking about-however maybe he thinks he's "softened" you up and it's a perfect time to mention his little darling.

sarebear's picture

I agree, it's like some people have no clue that other people have children too and that they are all pretty darn special.

I don't brag about mine cuz I hate hearing others go on and on. We ALL love our own kids more than anyone else. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?

Just shut up about your brats already! Biggrin

janeyc's picture

I agree with hismineandours, I also think that he was softening her up, what a weird time to talk about his daughter, yuck.

sarebear's picture

Oh yeah, he was horrified when I tied that moment with talking about his daughter. He said that would NEVER happen again. Normally the moments after are about us.