Family being torn apart by SS
Hi, I'm feeling so lost and scared right now. Guess I just need to vent mostly but advice would be good too. A little back story, sorry it's a long post. I've been a step mom for almost 10 years. Beside my stepson, my husband and I have 3 other children. My stepson who is now 13, came to live with us after he saved his bio mom from a drug overdose. She has been in and out of prison since then but has supervised visits when she is out.
He has done things to hurt his siblings since he moved in but always told his dad it was an accident. However when his dad isn't around he would tell me that it wasn't an accident and that he will continue to hurt them and he even plans to kill them. At 1st my husband didn't believe me when I told him but did agree to not let them play unsupervised. Then SS started trying to hurt them right in front of us. We eventually had to put an alarm on his door cause he would get up to try to hurt the other kids while they were sleeping.
We also had lots of behavior issues refuses to do anything I ask, has trouble at school, and lies about everything and nothing and is a master manipulator. I have taken him to therapy, which seemed to make things worse. They diagnosed him with ADHD. We tried a couple different medications that had terrible side effects before deciding it wasn't working. Finally I decided I could no longer keep the other kids safe from him. So he went to live with my husband parents. That worked out for a year and a half but he became too much for them with their health issues. Next my husband's brother ask if SS could live with them. SS has now been with them for 10months. They believe he was misdiagnosed with ADHD, instead they believe he is a sociopath. They have tried everything they can to get him to behave but now they are done.
He can not move back with us cause he is a danger to his siblings. With his mother being in prison she is not an option. So its either my husband moves out with him or we send him to live with his bio mothers parents. Which is where SS wants to live. However it's not a good place for him. They believe he should be able to do whatever he pleases, including watch porn. They are also raising SS little brother (from biomom)
I dont want my bio children to lose their father, nor me my husband. But I also want my SS to be in a good environment. My families life is being torn apart and I don't know what to do or how to fix it. Do you think a marriage can work being separated like that?