I have been on both sides of the battlefield. I was wife #2 but got along very very well with W#1. Me and Amy became really good friends and never let anything that happened between them in their marriage ever affect me and her. They could not even be in the same room with each let alone speak to each other without all hell breaking loose; so the fact that me and her became friends made things work for us. We both had "their" daughters’ best interest at heart and wanted nothing but the best for her.

I kept telling both of them that they need to be mature adults and learn how to deal with each, as SD was old enough to see and comprehend what was going on; and that it would best for her to be able to see her Mommy and Daddy being civil and getting along versus him yelling at her every chance he got. He would never listen to her, just blow up and start cussing at her. I would be the one to call her back to find out what happened and between the two of us figured out a solution. I finally stepped out of the middle and told them that they would have to now deal directly with each as I was bowing out (thinking that this would make them “get it” and atleast be civil to one another). Boy was I wrong, he has not seen his daughter since (that was 2004).

We separated in September 2005 for numerous reasons and were going to counseling to try and save our marriage. In October, he met someone else (wife #3). I found out about her from a friend of his, yet he continued to deny her to me. By this time I knew the marriage was over and it was time to move on. He finally in December admitted his relationship with her and we talked about how to handle our divorce. Note all this time we had been separated he continued to help me with the kids (the 16 year old is mine from a previous relationship and we have a 3 year old together). He would take my oldest to school and pick her up and come over to the apartment and get the little one ready and drop her off at daycare. We were Military so we got a housing allowance of $959, which he would give me every month. We filed for divorce in January 2006 and then all hell broke loose. I started getting emails and when I would call him she would answer his cell and we would yell back and forth.

I dislike this woman, like I have never disliked another, not because she is with him, but because she has butted in to something that was none of her concern. If me and my ex got into an argument and I hurt his feelings (I am a very straight forward person and do not candy coat anything for anyone, I tell it like it is) she would call and go off about how I hurt him and what I said to him etc. I would start off rather nicely/semi sarcastically that whatever issues that me and him have regarding our daughter or our marriage were between me and him and to please stay out of it. She went on to inform me that she is his “girlfriend” and anything that has to do with him is HER business! Well, as you can probably assume, I disagreed with that one. So it went on back and forth, then she started spying on me at work, trying to find out things about my oldest daughter. It was like she had to know everything about me. I realize now that she was insecure and all, but all of this was too extreme for me. I brought up my concerns with him as well as his parents when they would call, but he never saw anything wrong with it and blamed me for everything.

Our divorce was final March 2006 and they were married in November 2006, as I have said even to her, If he is happy, then I am happy for him, even if it is her that is making him happy. I have a problem with her forcing my daughter to call her Mommy and repeatedly telling her that her daughter is her sister. She goes out and when people compliment my daughter (she is very beautiful) she says that she is the mother (and that the baby looks like her father). She criticizes me as a mother, but I let her know that “part-time Mommy’s” don’t get to criticize “full-time Mommy’s) (as her daughter stays with her parents four times out of the week). I am divorced from this man yet seem to fight more now than we ever did when we were married.

All I want is what is best for our daughter; it has been hard enough for her learning how to adjust with Daddy gone from the home. This woman talks bad about me in front of her and she runs home to tell me the mean things that “M” said about Mommy. My little one asked me if I liked “M” and I said “No, Mommy does not like her right now.” And she said “but I like her”. I then explained to her that it is okay for her to like her, Mommy is not upset that she does (she is close to her and her daughter). She interrogates my little one when she is over there asking all sorts of questions about me. My little one is so innocent she just spills the beans (bless her heart). So W#3 comes to me saying that I am jealous of how my daughter feels for her and her daughter and no matter what I can’t take that away etc. First off, I can’t control who my daughter has feelings for. I am just thankful that he is with a person who is nice and treats my child good, because I am sure there are people out there who would not.

I just want everyone to try to get along because as we are all bickering back and forth trying to make each other miserable, it is actually our children that we are hurting the most.

Mich