Eww =P

cat72196's picture

I just need an informal poll here to get myself past this, so am I right or wrong?

Long story short: I'm in a long-distance relationship (over 2 years now), and my boyfriend and I have 3 kids each. His daughter (7) has him wrapped around her little finger and is quite manipulative. I think she has issues with "sharing" him with me. They came to visit me this weekend, and this morning, she climbed into bed w/us to snuggle w/him. I was grossed out. It's my bed. I'm not her biological mother. He turned his back to me to cuddle with her, I looked past him at her, and she was staring smugly right back at me. Ewww...

Am I making a mountain out of a molehill, or is that crossing a line?

Jsmom's picture

No kids in the master bedroom. Ours only come in to tell us something and even then they ask if they can come in. That is too wierd and I would tell him so. Set the boundaries now.

cat72196's picture

Thanks, Jsmom. I didn't know what to do about it at the time, so I (very immaturely) gave him a swift elbow to the ribs. When he didn't read my mind, I jumped out of bed abruptly and said, "Okay, we all need to get moving, and NOW." Haha. Well, I suppose it warrants a "discussion" with him now, since I clearly cannot be counted on to handle that situation when it arises. Sounds like a fun conversation. Blum 3

inneedofanswers's picture

If it makes you feel uncomfortable then it's a problem.

Maybe he can make a deal with her that he will make some time to have cuddle time with her in her own bed. Maybe reading her a story in the evening..... or even just cuddle time on the couch while watching a movie.

He also needs to make the same time with you!

cat72196's picture

Thanks for the response, inneed. I think that since he has pretty decent custody of her, and he and I only get to see each other once every 4-6 weeks, it's safe to say she can spare one friggin' morning of cuddle time... Blum 3

cat72196's picture

:sick: HAHA!!!! Well, you're not alone, hismineours... if her being in there wasn't bad enough, the look on her face was enough to make me wanna puke. :sick:

inneedofanswers's picture

Yeah I would spaz if SS got into our bed.............mainly cuase he's 14 hahahahahah!!!

gtrmom's picture

I think it is creepy too :O sorry! I don't allow kiddos in our bedroom. I think that at certain age it is fine, but 7 is too old. When SD was 2-5 and would stay with us for a week in summer she would climb into our bed when she was afraid. After that we would try to reassure her and re-tuck her in bed. I just think she is trying to show you that SHE is BOSS and that she IS THE most IMPORTANT girl in daddy's life. In my opinion, you and BF need to talk and set boundaries. Make sure you start by praising so that he is receptive to what you are going to tell him. you know, start out by telling him that you think it's great that he has such an awesome relationship with his daughter, but... Good Luck!

lucky2bme87's picture

My MIL once emailed me and DH about letting SD7 sleep with us when it's storming. SD must have been talking with her about how she's scared when it thunders here because her room is upstairs and it's really loud. MIL was trying to "inform" us of how parents sometimes allow their children to sleep in their beds. I wanted to be like HELLO!!! she's NOT my child! DH doesn't even want her in there (he's very germ conscious). Just because she snuggles up to SD all the time (she's a teacher and used to kiddy germs - explains why she's always sick ewwww) doesn't mean we have to. This is MY house and I don't want her in MY bedroom. Gross!

cat72196's picture

All valid points, StepAside, just wanted to mention that it's exponentially ridiculous when it's not "his own bed"-- It's MINE! He doesn't live with me, and she doesn't have her own room in my house. Take it to the couch or something, but even that's... BLECH! :sick: