Do you say the 2 of you have kids if someone asks you?

Forums:

My fiance and I don't have any children yet, as we're not married. SS is from a previous relationship (she called him 3 months after a drinken role in the hay saying oops guess i got preggers when the condom broke!) So what do I say if people ask if we have kids? So far it's been simple as the question's either been directed directly at me, in which case I say no, or at him in which case he says I have a son. As we're getting married soon I'm sure more people will ask - I guess i want to know if it's ok if i say no as WE don't have any children ... only he does?

DH always says "Yes, I have

DH always says "Yes, I have three kids" he will clarify once he goes into how old they are (I am not old enough to have an 18 year old son) that they are his, not mine, because people start to look at me funny. I always say "DH has three but I do not have children." I will say this in front of skids also. I am not defensive or making sure it is clear that they are NOT my children or anything, but it is a fact - I don't have any!! I suppose if you feel like you are a family and want to say "oh there are two kids in the family" then it isn't anybody's business and you should do what is comfortable for you.

I always say we have six and

I always say we have six and tell their ages and people think I look fantastic for starting out when I was 16. However, dh usually says he has three if the question was directed at him only. It the q I's to us, I answer for us

I don't have any children, Dh

I don't have any children, Dh has ss.

Ss call's me mom and he lives with us, people don't really know that he is not mine. Since I do everything, specially when Dh deploys, then I am all alone with ss.

When people ask me, I say he is mine. Its still weird, I am to young to have had ss and to old to be his sister, so I don't know what people think.

But since he calls me mom, I guess they think I just look young, I don't know, its weird. :?

I was actually just asked

I was actually just asked this the other night at dinner. DH, myself, SS22, DS3 and DD 14 weeks were at dinner and the waitress I think was just trying to figure it all out. She asked me if they were all mine. I said techinically no - These 2 are ours (pointing at DS & DD) & that one is DH's (pointing at SS) but yep they are all mine. My SS isn't a bad kid just a product of the circumstance - keeping BM happy since she pays for the car and ths insurance and all the gadgets. He's never been a problem child just put in a really bad spot.
SS just kind of smiled at me and shook his head.

Dh has daughter, I have no

Dh has daughter, I have no children from previous or with him. I did noticed once we got married a lot of people asked if we have kids. We always say no, but we plan on it in the near future. The way it is usually phrased "do you two have any children yet?" or somewhere along those lines, insinuates that us as a couple, not what he has from the past.

If someone asks me if we have

If someone asks me if we have children I simply say, "DH has 2".

I figure people can take from that that I don't have any but DH has 2.

I have 3 children. 1 of them

I have 3 children. 1 of them came out of my vagina. For the last 5 years I have bought every piece of clothing my 2 skids have worn, every school supply they have needed, any sports equipment, I have provided them with a place to live for 99% of that time. I have paid for every single school lunch or field trip. I have done parent-teacher conferences, filled out the paperwork for their state-subsidized health care, taken them to doctors' appointments, met with counselors, taught them manners and how to do chores, praised them when warranted and disciplined them when necessary. So, I have 3 children.

If we're out in public and

If we're out in public and people ask about "our" kids i correct them and say they're DH's children. I want no part/responsibility of their appearance, actions, manners. I'm not allowed to groom them into respectable adults than i want no part of the blame when they look like crap in public.

Yep,I can relate to that! We

Yep,I can relate to that! We (my DH, SD12 and I) went out to eat Friday night. She always has bad hygiene, i.e. dirty hands, fingernails unclipped and dirty, hair unbrushed and notty, clothes dirty, etc. We picked her up from her moms like that Friday night. At the restaurant she was blowing bubbles through the straw of her drink, twirling her silverware around, talking loudly, pointing at people, etc. I just sat there and cringed. I finally, after waiting a long time for DH to say something, told her that it wasn't good etiquette to blow bubbles in her drink. She is 12 1/2!! When I was growing up my dad would have made me sit in the car and wait for them if I had done something like that!

I have 3 he has 2....

If I am alone and someone

If I am alone and someone asks me how many kids I have I always say 3. Dh always says 4. If we are together, I say, "We have 4 kids altogether". I have 2, dh has 1, and we have 1 together. My oldest 2 and ss are all very close in age so when people start asking ages they know something isnt right-but most of them never ask who belongs to whom.

My wife and I say "Yes, we

My wife and I say "Yes, we have one". He is my Skid but I have been dad since SS-18 was 1yo.

You could also respond, "Yes, my husband has one".

There is nothing wrong with that I think. Both are appropriate answers to that question.

Ladies, thank you so much for

Ladies, thank you so much for all the different answers! I don't have any friends who are stepmoms so you're all my source of info I'll probably go with a variety of the above depending on the situation but the one I'll use when it's someone we don't know is Rags' "Yes, my husband has one". It's sweet & simple and also I think ss will like that one as well. He's excited we're getting married - hope it stays that way!

If I am alone I say my

If I am alone I say my husband has 2 daughters and they live with us. If my husband is with me he usually says that he has two daughters. If the kids are with just me they sometimes clarify and say that I am their stepmom or else they keep quiet. If someone assumes we are an intact family and they call me 'mom' we all usually snicker and keep quiet and then laugh about it later. We don't get too wrapped up in titles and the meaning behind them. We just state the facts when appropriate or let people go with assumptions when clarification isn't really necessary. It's not a big deal for us. Good luck, have fun, and don't sweat the small stuff like titles.

One night while we were out,

One night while we were out, DH was talking to someone and said:

"blah blah blah, our kids, well.. my kids, well.. OUR kids.."

If someone asks me if I have children, I say yes. We are not married, but we live together and I share a home with them. They are my family system. I don't say "yes, but they are by DH's children, not my biological children.", but if the conversation gets into deeper detail and it comes up, I will clarify if asked.

When I talk to DH, I say "our kids". He doesn't seem to have a problem with it. BUT when we are together and they are being misbehaved, it's suddenly him saying "look at YOUR kids"! Lol, it's all in fun.

Sometimes when we are out, at the hospital or something, someone will say something like "OK Mom, here's where were at.." or "Ok, go sit with Mom", but they are a little young to really say anything. Sometimes SS will laugh and say "he called you Momma, but your (my name)!" and we giggle.

If they get to an age or point where they ask me if they can call me Mom, sure! If they call me (my name) forever, that's great! Whatever they want to call me.. just not their evil step mom!

We don't clarify titles much.. just roll with the punches!

+ 1 we just met this year. she was a rolling drunk in the hay and now she's 26.

8 is ENOUGH DAMMIT!