Do I show my partner this site?
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He doesn't realise the stress I go through when ss comes to stay. Partner loves him to death and doesn't see how his jealous ways effect me. I've tried to explain but he just doesn't see it through his rose tinted glasses.
He can be a nice boy but equally can be obnoxious.
NO! if he wont listen to
NO! if he wont listen to you, why would he listen to any of us? he doesnt give a shit enough when YOU tell him how frustrated u are, showing him this site wont make his mind up.
let this be the place u vent, a place he doesnt know about.
Ok, I have some serious
Ok, I have some serious venting to do then!
It's very interesting reading other peoples issues and relating them to mine. I AM NOT ALONE!
Boy is a jealous type and if I sit/walk next to my partner he will do everything he can to get between us or push me out. Partner generally does nothing about it.
He does silly/ naughty/ can't reach/ can't cope things to get attention.
He watches what I'm doing constantly and follows me when I go and do stuff.
It's not always bad, can have goodish times but not often.
I wouldn't show him this
I wouldn't show him this site. This is one of the few sites I've seen where step-parents can vent and actually have other people understand what each person is going through. I agree if he won't even listen to your frustrations, no need to show him this site.
I disagree with the others.
I disagree with the others. Often when a stranger tells one something its taken much more seriously than when a spouse says so.
I told the wife to not feed the sick dog meat. She calls vet who says the same thing. Then its OK to not feed the dog meat. Could she believe me? Nope - had to come from someone else.
Just make sure all your Threads are truthful - not that you'd lie but sometimes we shade or leave things out.
I showed DH this site about 2
I showed DH this site about 2 years ago when I first joined.
His mouth dropped open when he saw the grief that Step Parents go through.
He has been extremely supportive - without question - ever since.
Most likely it will just piss
Most likely it will just piss him off and he'll dismiss everyone's opinions here as horrible, mean and crazy so that he can keep his rose colored glasses.
I have been debating on
I have been debating on whether or not to show my DH this site for a while now. I know my DH cannot even begin to comprehend what I am dealing with. He loves having SD over, while there is nothing I hate more. We are just on complete opposite sides of that spectrum. I think sometimes people listen more to "outsiders" so it may be helpful. But if your DH is like mine (stubborn as hell), then I wouldn't count on it. I have even taken my DH to counseling thinking he might listen to the counselor more than he does to me, and that did not work. I don't think showing your DH the site will hurt though. At least he will get to see that you are not crazy and you are not the only SM who feels the way you do!
There is no way I would get
There is no way I would get him to counseling. He usually does back me up to boys face, but I'm never unreasonable.
Boys room is a constant pigsty, he cleaned it up recently but it was tidy for one day only. He leaves toys about the place where they could be trodden on and broken. Rubbish never goes in the bin, it gets left on the some.
I know alot of it is just being a child, its the chronic lying I hate. He broke something of mine and had a massive crying tantrum about it and said it wasn't him. His dad backed him up too and I find that all difficult to forget.
I've witnessed crying tantrums to get his own way, then as soon as dad is not there he is straight back to normal playing.
Oh and he is still having a dummy at 7 years old.
I think you can't afford to
I think you can't afford to try to keep this as a place that SO doesn't know about, only because this then becomes an achilles' heel which literally puts you on the back foot if they discover it. My dh knows this site exists, and may or may not snoop on it -- I don't know. My own take on this is that he would accept some people's views and be sorry for them, but would not think that I fit into the category of someone hard-done-by in the step stakes -- how could he possibly be one of those blinkered SOs, after all? So, as with other posters, it might not particularly benefit me for him to read people's entries. But it would certainly not help if he were to discover I was going behind his back and posting our personal dirty linen on a public site, no matter how anonymous, without his consent. However if he were to now confront me on that point, I could rightfully say, you know I use the site so why have you not complained before?
Be very careful to be honest and truthful, know that what you say could be scrutinised at some future point by him, and after that, don't worry about it.
I tried to get my DH to read
I tried to get my DH to read stepmonster because it was extremely enlightening for both sides of this issue. He refused and said he had no problems... I did. I also told him about the site and offered to show it to him and again he refused. We are all "crazy" people who can't cope with the choices that we have made. If your DH is anything like mine you could ask but if he refuses don't mention it again. I need this place to vent and the last thing I need him doing is constantly checking it to see what "bad" things I have said about him or his kids.
You know, after I told DH I
You know, after I told DH I read this site a lot, he actually came on here and read it and then he came to me and apologized and said that the reason he didn't really want to think about it was because he didn't want to admit it could happen to us, but he realized it can which means he needs to do his part.
He's the kind of who wants to fix things though, so if you think you can do it in a way where your partner doesn't feel like you're rubbing his face in it, go for it.
Found this site a the other
Found this site a the other day when searching the net to get some understanding/insight into what my wife might be feeling. In my 1st marriage I was SF to two but never had the same complaints as my wife so sometimes it drives me crazy to have to talk/fight about issues she has with the kids. In all fairness, I have to admit the situation was a lot different from ours the kids were younger (5&3 vs 8&15) when we meet and bio father was not in the picture at all.
For me... after reading a few post I felt I needed to be more understanding and patient. That said this has to be a two way street and we both should be looking for ways the work on some of our issues. This to me does not mean being apart from my two kids without with out a reasonable justification.
Have you talked to your dh
Have you talked to your dh about your feelings? I would try that first and see. Maybe he thinks it doesn't bother you