You are here

Dad smokes weed

momoutofhermind2's picture

So my BD7 asked me last night, why does daddy smoke weed? This caught me completely off guard. My DH smokes weed b/c he hurt his back about a year ago while on his job. The doc. prescribed pain meds, but those have effects and make him sick so he smokes. He doesn't do it in the house or in front of the kids, BD7 and SS10, but my daughter can smell it and smelled it on her aunts coat before and heard her talking about it so she associated the two together. Now when she asked me this my DH wasn't around. I worked my way around answering the question b/c I didn't know what to say. So I brought it up to him today and he said that I should've just told her why. I told him I wont. Kids learn drugs are bad their whole life and I refuse to tell her that daddy smokes b/c he is hurting. That will teach her that it's ok to do drugs when your in pain. He wants to sit her down and tell her why so she understands?

I need some thoughts on this one b/c I wanna strangle him right now...

Thanks.

overit2's picture

Gosh, this is a tough one....see...all of this is just nonsense-legalize it, particularly medical and get this over with.

I don't know how you'll explain it-but be prepared that during "drug free" week at school your dh will get hounded every time.

uncommon's picture

Honestly if this came up I would probably tell my DD that it's not a criminal act here (MA) and is much like dad drinking a couple of beers. But I don't see it coming up.

momoutofhermind2's picture

I told him to just try and hide it more. I mean I know it helps him out w/his pain, but at least spray yourself and things like that b4 you come in so I don't need to have this talk w/my 7yr old. When they are older they will understand, but until then it's hard to explain. Like you said during drug week I don't want her to say my daddy smokes b/c his back hurts. That will open a can of worms.

hismineandours's picture

I dont think you are going to be able to explain why your dh does something illegal. Not trying to preach here as I personally dont judge but IMO he is placing the entire family at risk by maintaining illegal activity on your property (whether inside the house or not)-yes, I understand that many think that pot is no big deal-but is illegal so that is what makes it a big deal. How do you explain to a child that robbing a bank is illegal and wrong but smoking pot is illegal and ok? Is it ok to rob a bank if you've got an excuse? It's not ok to do drugs just because you have an excuse.

My dh has back pain, neuralgia, has had 4 surgeries on his neck-including a disc repair, a disc replacement, and a spinal fusion. He also was on pain pills but those are an addictive never ending cycle. So now he takes nothing for pain. He just lives with it-i guess sometimes he takes ibuprofen-but I would not condone him smoking pot to help with his pain. If they legalize medical marijuana in our state and our dr. wants to give him a script-well then I guess i would be ok with that-but until then he needs to find different alternatives. I hope your dh is prepard to be outed on drug free week at school.

overit2's picture

That's my concern-it's possible he could be outed at school from your D.

This argument "How do you explain to a child that robbing a bank is illegal and wrong but smoking pot is illegal and ok? Is it ok to rob a bank if you've got an excuse" Don't know how much I agree since in one it's a personal consumption (victimless crime) and the other is a crime that hurts/affects others. BUT I see your point.

THAT said-having so many people addicted to serious pain pills that have more adverse affects then green....don't know which is worse really-one being legal doesn't make it any less dangerous IMO.

hismineandours's picture

My point is that is is a slippery slope when you try to make excuses for ANY illegal activity-victimless or not. I dont really think a child of that age would even grasp what victimless vs victim crime even is.

I have no moral issues with marijuana-for me it is a legal issue. You can be arrested for smoking pot, forced into treatment, and have your kids removed from your care or at the very least DCS involved in your life looking over your shoulder for the next 6 months. Sooo not worth it.

I agree that he needs to seek alternate types of treatment. My dh does have a spinal cord stimulator-it is implanted in his back and shocks him in order to stop the pain message. He still struggles with pain but it is better than doing illegal things or being addicted to pain pills.