Counseling the last resort before considering separation or divorce?
I have been reading some posts here and feeling better that I am not alone in my situation. Married to my wife for 8 years in July and we have been together for 12 years now. We have a BS that is 10 years old and my SD that is 18, almost 19. I have been the male figure in her life since she was 7, her BF lives in Brazil and has had very little to do with her. I also have a BS that is 18 that has been in the mix as well.
Wife and I had an awful fight today when i could not keep my mouth shut any longer about SD18. I felt she should have had a part time job and worked on getting her drivers license since she was 16, never happened. Now I have a high school graduate that quit college after barely a month living in our home, sleeping all day and expecting a job or something to just fall out of the sky apparently. Now... SD had issues in Middle School with bullies, DW takes her out of school and "home schools" her for two years. Going back even early, the first time I hollered at SD for doing something (couldn't even tell you what it was anymore??), I learned early on that she cries and Mommy makes it better. My parenting "rights" were revoked very early on. DW says SD has anxiety and depression, she is seeing a therapist... who was instructing her to change her sleep schedule (which isn't happening). I really could go on and on, one year almost from graduation, nine months since she quit college and DW has the guts to tell ME that i need to be patient and supportive.
DW is 100 percent backing SD, feels I just want SD out of our home. I have never said that, but the way SD acts that would be nice at this point. I also feel this is a negative example for our BS10, what message are we sending by allowing such sloth and indifference. DW thinks "talking" to SD is going to solve the issues....LMAO I am ranting at this point but any support is appreciated. My next step is attempting to suggest some counseling for myself and DW. I don't have high hopes for the outcome however. Thanks for reading/listening.