Considering divorce over stepkids
I have only been married for a short while. We were in no way ready to be married but I was pregnant and we took the plunge. He has 2 kids. We now have one together. His kids and I got along fine in the beginning but without boring you all with all the details, things started falling apart and we drifted. I was left alone to take over his role, all while I was pregnant, hormonal, and extremely annoyed. They started misbehaving....ltheyvhave dije some incredibly terrible things, and after my child was born, her life was threatened by my skids. They’re little so I know they didn’t realiz but they were trying to hurt her just because they wanted to hurt me. I know they are extremely jealous of my child. Again, trust me on this.
No point dwelling on the past. Alas, we reached to a point where one won’t even eat if I’m cooking and the other pees in the bed on a regular basis. They are 7,8.
My husband asked me if I loved them and I flat out said no. I don’t hate them, I just have no feelings towards them whatsoever. I could live life happily if I never have to see them again. I don’t wish them anything bad nor good. I just simply don’t care. To me, because of everything that has transgresses, I simply don’t have any sort of feelings towards them.
My husband is extremely hurt by that. He keeps on saying that I don’t love him if I don’t love them. Which is not true at all. I do live him. I just don’t care for his kids at all.
We have a weekly fight about my lack of feelings towards his kids. WEEKLY! I told him that if this continues I will start to resent them. He’s so deeply hurt and offended that I don’t love his kids that he brings t up so often and starts huge fight about the stupidest things just to be able to leas the conversation to the same thing....you hate my kids that means you don’t love me at all, all you need is your baby, why are you still here?
I am seriously having to wake up everyday and make a conscious decision of should I leave or should I stay. I do love him, but the fights are not worth so much misery. I love him and I wish things were different. I am always thinking about my daughter. She’s under a year and I am constantly thinking if I leave now, I know he will give me custody, and I can leave this god forsaken city and be happy elsewhere, just the two of us, and she won’t suffer because she very much depandatvon me still. But then I think, she deserves the right to know her dad and grow up in a nuclear family. I want that for her. So I think I’ve gottwn to the point where I’m staying in my marriage just for my child because every time we fight about the same issue, I feel less for him and start to resent his kids.
I honestly don’t know what to do here.