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Confrontation - evil step mom

Itshellsophia17's picture

I posted another link, am I such a bitch. After speaking to people I finally confronted him about his pain in the ass kid. We have had 3 days since he dismissed me over it and said I was been a dick. I can get him to understand that the rolling of eyes, face twisting, rudeness and constant questioning from his kid I’ve how much things cost, when and if I see my kids (I have two who live away) is driving me crazy. We are now in a fight again over the same thing, he says it’s just the way she is and is interested. However I disagree, I thought my kids to question people about the cost of something is rude, I don’t even talk about money with my other half. He has his bank acct, I have mine. I don’t know how else I can explain this to him for him to understand. I can’t keep doing this. I get we have different ways of bringing up kids but he should respect his boundaries and so should his kids.

Itshellsophia17's picture

No that point was made in my last call with him. I have told him he either respects my boundaries and he ensures that so do his kids or I leave! I think that a simple as I could make it for him. Honestly I couldn’t have made it any more clear .... could I ? :?

sammigirl's picture

I don't even recognize what DH is doing with his kids. It's his problem. I keep it out of my thinking.

It's a fight you will never win. Don't mention it to him, don't ask about his kids or the situation he is handling. You mentioned you keep your $$$$ separate; good for you.

Ignore it, go silent. Silence works wonders; he will begin coming around and see the problem for what it is, if you cease trying to point it out. I learned this and it became so easy to get back my own identity and not include his kids in my life. They are grown and history. Even when they were teens and lived under our roof, asking for $$$$ all the time, it wasn't my problem.

I love the peace of disengagement and my marriage is so easy now too.

Not that I like hearing his side of the story about his kids, but I ignore it all and don't ask.

Good Luck
Stay here for advice.

MurphysLaw's picture

He is not going to say a thing to her.
Just like my SO of almost 3 years, the kids rule the house, he is their slave.
And he obviously likes it.
Seriously, it’s not you, you could leave in the morning & he will take up with another woman and then she would be on here within a month crying about the same thing.

And that’s why I’m moving back to my own home.

Itshellsophia17's picture

My god the guilty dad syndrome quote is just exactly what he has! Saying she is only ten is no excuse she knows what she is doing!!

MurphysLaw's picture

Yep...
I thought long & hard about what was the bottom line of all the troubles in this house, and that’s it.
Since birth he has put his 3 kids on his level, they are allowed to say & do as they please, zero consequences.
The results?
SS26: Heroin addict, works for SO & could not keep a job other wise (makes very good $) lives at home, room & board free, does zero to maintain the house or even clean up after his self,claimed bankruptcy in 2017, has zero to show for it.
SS23: Drunk, 2 DUIs in 2017, works for SO & could not keep a job other wise (makes very good $) lives at home, room & board free, does zero to maintain the house or even clean up after his self, had Girlfriend living here for 2 years also room & board free, she also did nothing to clean up the house.
SD21: Pothead/ drunk, hasn’t had a job last more than a week in the last year, lives at home...blah blah blah

And this will be your life in 10 years, wash, rinse repeat.