Confessions of a Wicked Stepmother...
My SD is a lovely girl. She's kind, helpful, thoughtful and adores my bios. She's the kind of kid that it sounds like most of you don't have. But she drives me up the wall. Things she does that annoy the hell out of me include:
Following DP around like a lost puppy. She actually waits outside the bathroom door for him. If she doesn't know where he is it's a constant whine of 'where's daddy?'
Always making sure she has the most attention from him. Her younger sibs always get shorted because she's so demanding.
Has to muscle in if he's ever sitting next to anyone else. If I leave the bed in the morning to get coffee etc she immediately takes my spot.
Went through a phase of taking things just because they were mine (blankets, hairbrush, foods etc) but we seem to have been able to put a stop to this recently.
Will not leave us alone EVER. The other kids play together but she is ALWAYS with us. Complains that the other kids 'don't want to play with her'.
DP used to correct a lot of this behaviour, force her to go and join the other kids etc but unfortunately they moved out of state and now because of the lack of time together he's turned into a bit of a Disney daddy and doesn't want to upset her. He doesn't encourage her but doesn't discourage her either.
I try to see things from her perspective, that she has limited time with her dad, but she drives me up the wall. The younger daughter doesn't act like that. YSD is so sick of it that she chooses to be with me and my kids most of the time. She seems to deliverately avoid them. I also like to avoid OSD whenever possible so it's created a divide in the household, and quite often we're doing separate activities at the weekends. Obviously OSD loves this.
We're meant to be getting married and DP keeps pushing me on when. I jokingly asked her if I was 'allowed' to sit next to daddy at the wedding and the look of horror she gave me was priceless. Maybe it's selfish but I just see her behaviour ruining the day for me. I've even thought about eloping but it doesn't seem right to exclude the kids. I want to go to Hawaii for the honeymoon and she keeps whining that she wants daddy to take her there. I can't imagine anything worse (thankfully, neither can he!)
Did anyone successfully navigate a situation like this? We get on really well when her dad isn't around but I'm tired of it always being a competition when he is. I always promote one on one time and even plan daddy daughter dates for them every now and again. It doesn't seem to make a difference.I never try to encroach on their time together. She was literally in tears a few days ago because he was playing ping pong with me and she couldn't stand that she didn't have his attention.
Will she grow out of this?! When? She will be 11 this year. This literally makes her sound dreadful but when her dad isn't around we get on wonderfully. I enjoy having her around unless DP is there.
Does anyone have any constructive advice? DP works a ton, and I work part time so I do most of the parenting when they're around. They get on great with my kids and are helpful pleasant children. This is my only major issue. I've been around since she was 6, but the problem just seems to be getting worse.