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Competing with bm?!

Saf102512's picture

So we have my sd8 full time. Bm just started getting 6hr per week visits which will change to standard visitation in October.. Yesterday SD had her visit with her mom, they went to get ice cream, swimming & shopping. So today DH has to work, before he left he said SD wants to go to the pool. I'm 7 months pregnant and I don't feel like having to walk a mile each way to the pool and then sit there & watch her swim in 95 degree heat. It's a public pool & people are smashed like sardines in there so I don't feel comfortable getting in the water.

Aanyway, so I tell dh there's no way I'm doing that today & he gets annoyed at me. After talking he admitted that he is afraid his daughter will like being at her mom's more bc they always do fun things and I "make her sit around" all day when he's at work.. No, there are lots of kids in our neighborhood that play outside all day she just chooses to act like the little B word she is not get along with anyone. She goes out to play and is always back in the house within 10 minutes because the second she's not the center of attention with the kids she starts fights. So I was just wondering if anyone else's dh tries to compete with bm as far as who's house is most fun. This weekend he already planned all sorts of activities even though we're broke and I'm afraid it's going to get worse the more time she spends with her mom

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

Custodial fathers are scared that anything they do will result in a custody reversal. That is why the majority of custodial father's do not go after child support and allow BMs to do all kind of crazy shyt. They just want their kids, they don't want to rock the boat.

If your husband wants the child to go to the pool then he can take her after he gets home. You are prego and it is too hot to be outside.

marty15's picture

I do kind of feel like it's a competition. We're always trying to think of what fun things we will do with Skids are here. We hear about all the crap they are bought and places they've been with BM. It's kind of unspoken. I do know what you mean.

The kids make out with all the competition... they think that life is about people entertaining you and winning your love... real life is going to be a shock.

marty15's picture

At least your DH says his true feelings that he's afraid SD will like being at her moms more. He recognizes his feelings and can say them, that's a good thing. But he can't expect you to walk miles in 95 degrees preganant to sooth his fears! Smile

TASHA1983's picture

Damn I wish the VAST MAJORITY of the DH/SO on this fucking site would grow or get a pair of fully-functioning balls!!! I feel sooo bad for the SM's on here that have to put up with these spineless cowards that care MORE about pleasing their little ingrate brats than their own wives/partners!!!

THAT BURNS MY FUCKING ASS SOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

overworkedmom's picture

I have the same problem. When the incubator pops in every few months she plays the "fun" mom. She picks him up for a day of playing and the word "no" is never ever used. It takes me literally weeks to get my boy back after a visit from her.

These "mothers" are more aunties that come to play and drop them off when they are bored with them. Then you get the mess of emotions left behind.

Orange County Ca's picture

Keep it up maybe she will go and live with Mama.

Remind Papa that she needs a mother at this age.

Saf102512's picture

Thank you! Glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks this is unreasonable. I wish, I'm looking forward to the day the mom gets over night visits but sd moving in with her would just be too good to be true!