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Caring for my stepdaughter

thatchic2324's picture

:? So when I met my husband 6 years ago, right off the bat, I offered to help watch his 2 kids (then 4 &8) along with my son who was also 4 during the summer so that his ex and him could work without paying childcare. That summer began fine and ended in psycho, let's just call her Sybil. When I met my Hub we had different parenting styles, meaning I had one and he didn't. He, and his now ex, let the kids run the show. They had a "give 'em what they want so they shut up quickly" kind of attitude. I, on the other hand am quite old fashioned. I expect dinners together as a family, decent grades, personal hygeine and respect for yourself and others... things of that nature. I'm not too harsh, I know how to have fun, when it's deserved. No, I will not buy you a bunch of new crap simply because you think you're an awesome, special, little snowflake. However harsh my husbands family thinks that is, it is my choice as a parent and they can.. well... suck it.

So here we are 6 years later and my husband has come around (seeing the differnce in the children with a little structure and discipline as opposed to without) and I'm still caring for my stepdaughter. Stepson refuses to come over anymore bc I "cause too much drama" (you know, with all that "pick up your own crap and please don't talk to me like one of your buddies on the ball feild")

Anyway, last January, Sybil was getting evicted AGAIN (3rd in 4 years) and the kids would have to start a new district, again. So I agreed to let my stepdaughter be here in the morning, get on the bus, then off the bus in the afternoon til her mother got here after work. Well, that quickly turned into that, plus half days, plus snow days and sick days and til whatever the hell time Sybil decided to get there after tanning/shopping/etc. I was totally and completely being taken advantage of because, according to her and my inlaws "i don't have a "real" job and it was a package deal when I got married to him and shouldn't have married him if I didn't want to care for his children". What a crock of Sugar Honey Iced Tea!!

Sorry so long but here's my dilemma. The agreement for this school year was that she had 4 months to move into the district. It's been 6 and there are still another 3 til school starts and she's still refusing to move and I'm being pressured to care for my stepdaughter again this coming school year and honestly, I just don't want to. Not to mention that she hates me and starts arguements constantly and the fact that Sybil still won't speak to me directly. It's a ridiculous scenerio where she calls my hubs, he calls me and asks me or tells me whatever she wants, then calls her back with an answer. Totally assenine.

So what do you suggest fellow stepmonsters? I really don't want to continue this circus again this year. But I do understand how changing schools AGAIN would negatively effect my stepdaughter (as much as she irritates the hell out of me). HELP!!! PLEASE!!!

stepmisery's picture

I was going to suggest afterschool care for SD but if you are home and your child is coming home but SD is going somewhere else... yeah you'll draw a lot of criticism and flak for it.

I think that leaves no alternative but for SD to move schools. BM is the mother and has a responsibility and she's not living up to it and so SD will suffer by having to change schools.

Now, if SD lives with BM and still has to go to afterschool care, might as well let SD stay with you, stay in the same school and whoever wants to complain can simply STFU.