You are here

Can't stand my stepdaughter

Esme57's picture

Have had my 19 yr old SD move in with us for a few weeks whilst looking for a new place to live following a split from her BF.  Thankfully it's not for much longer as it's stressing me so much. Neither me or any of my children can stand her. It's all about what she wants. Even her own dad agrees that she is very hard his words "if she thinks she needs something she'll take it" and she has done. Petty things, like hand cream out the bathroom, it's for everyone to use but has now disappeared. Know my kids aren't little treasures of perfection and bliss but they would not do that & never have. In the past I had money (ok only about £1.50) taken out of my bag in my own bedroom. I know this as I set up a hidden camera & caught the little madam !

I try to be civil and act all happy and smiley but deep down I'm breaking inside.

I know it's not just because she's not my own daughter. It's her & her personality i can't stand. I don't have any issues with my 16 yr old stepson (doesn't live with us but stays over some weekends) and my grandson adores him.

Just need to vent!!

shamds's picture

did you show the footage? Heck i’d want it played in front of her and remind her if she ever went through my habdbag again i’d call the police

tog redux's picture

Agreed. Just tell you are aware she went through your purse and if it happens again, the police will be called. 

Harry's picture

No reason to have someone like her in you home.  You gave her a chance,  she only gets one chance.  Give her a move out date 

Leilene's picture

OP & hubby should confront her with the video in private and outright declare a zero tolerance policy for theft in their home. 

Rags's picture

Did you have family video night and view her thieving bullshit together?  I would have invited everyone over for a popcorn and movie night and the preview would have been the footage of her stealing.  

Public humiliation is a great tactic for terminating crappy behavior.

shamds's picture

Suggest to hubby a games night, invite some friends, any niece/nephews or cousins stepdaughters age and then when you wanna play they movie say you’ve got something real special planned and sd will love it.

play the video!! Yup hubby will be mortified and embarassed but at least that will get him to address it

my ss went through my things when we’d leave the house or go away on holidays and he stayed home. He actually went through my laptop. I found out when he decided to call hubby after midnight like it was an emergency, he tells hubby 4 days ago he handed his laptop to the store to repair as its broken and it’ll take a month at least to fix but he saw this nice touch screens laptop that he’s taking for that month.

hubby said thats your stepmums and i need to ask her if its ok to borrow. We were days from flying out to my country overseas and i knew if i said no and ss has some nerve borrowing it or ratger demanded that he’ll take my possession when he has refused to acknowledge me at home for 3 yrs. 

i let ss borrow another laptop of mine, a massive gigantic one and told hubby next time the answer he should give is ss should ask me directly but he’s got some nerve to demand to take my things when he’s not at all been civil, friendly, communicative, pleasant and ignored me for 3 yrs so he expects me to say no.

i told hubby off I didn’t like feeling ganged up on or bullied into a decision because we were going on holiday and hubby kept pushing for it when ss has shown he can’t take care of his things as that laptop had broken down  twice in 6 months.

hubby apologised and said that he would never ask i lend my things to sk as they haven’t earnt the right to ask even... now everything i lock or keep away from his eye

all my skids do not respect other people’s boundaries. How can they when bio mum has never respected anybodies boundaries

Leilene's picture

It would backfire and perpetuate the evil, cruel, nasty stepmother stereotype in front of the whole family more so than it would reinforce a lesson. And it would tarnish emotional intimacy between husband and wife. 

Leilene's picture

Public humiliation is a great way to cause irreparable damage  to her relationship with her spouse and permanent loss of respect from her husband and step daughter. Your idea borders on psychological abuse. Esme57 should hold herself to a higher standard as a mother and not resort to Regina George, mean girl tactics to deal with family issues. 

Rags's picture

Facts are neither good nor bad.  They are merely facts.   As for liss of respect from her DH and the lying thieving spawn.  No great loss.

Broadcasting the facts is not abuse. It is educational for all victimized by this kid.

IMHO of course. 

Shivy1980's picture

I can't stand step daughter.  She lies. She's rude she's an attention seeking like brat.  She is 11. When we are in public. She's will try to shove herself between us. Or will hang all over my husband.  My husband tells me I'm jealous. I laughed at him and said no. I wasn't acting like that or still sleeping with my dad at 11.  I decided to not go on a vacation with them she annoys the shit out of me. I'm counting the days till she goes back to her mom's for school and I'm desperately hoping she will not be coming as often this coming school year.   I seriously can't stand her to the point. I'm thinking of leaving my husband so he can be with her