BM not using shared communication, jealousy
I don't have the easiest relationship with BM. She is nice to me, and says how happy she is that she is in the SS's (7, 9) lives but I don't trust her. Back in August I saw communication between her and my BF and she asked him if he wanted her to send him dirty pics. She claims she was joking and shared a photo of her with a sinkful of dishes, because there was overlap between their marriage ending and me starting to date him (that I didn't know about at the time - they still tried to work on things and didn't clue me in and that was a nasty surprise later), I just don't trust her or her intentions.
Seeing that communication caused a big fight between me and my partner and he said he would only communicate with her via shared fb messenger string. They've texted, or she's responded to him about stuff regarding the boys, to just him.
My partner has had his own jealousy issues and hasn't liked some of my male friendships, despite me being 100% committed to him. In the instance of two friends, he felt they were flirtaous so I don't communicate with them anymore.
I'm frustrated both because I don't trust her, I don't feel like she respects our relationship otherwise she'd comply with this simply request, and it is a pain for him to have to loop me in on stuff regarding the boys when it wouldn't be needed if we were all talking on the same channel. I'm frustrated with him because although he asked her to do this, he obviously doesn't care enough to stand up to her about it, or says 'oh she just must have forgotten'. She's not an idiot; how do you forget over and over? It just gives me the sense that she wants to talk to him in a way that I'm not privy to, and that makes me uncomfortable. I think the communication should just be about the kids as necessary. They've tried being friends and she inevitably gets awful with him occasionally or tries to fight with him about things and seems fake nice. I feel like I've made changes to try and put him at ease, and he seems unwilling to do the same. Not sure how to manage this but am getting frustrated!!