Blending or Confusing?
Quick set up:
There is a little girl with divorced parents
There's an ex-husband remarried; bonus mom no kids
There's an ex-wife with live-in boyfriend; boyfriend has a daughter same age as little girl; boyfriend has an ex-wife (with boyfriend and his son, same age) who is still highly involved in his life.
My question is this: how far do we blend?
I ask because of this: Ex wife prefers that ex-husband, bonus mom, daughter all co-mingle and plan activities as a klan with her boyfriend's ex and boyfriend. For the ex husband who shows up for his daughter 1000%, this becomes convoluted and he reports daughter gets anxious and withdrawn when everyone and their respective exes, boyfriends, wife, and kids are all hanging out together. He reports confusion about sisters, brother, cousins, etc. I just wonder at what point does he need to go along with this or does this style of blending even sound healthy? It's now reached a point that making plans for his daughter means that his ex check with her boyfriend, his ex and her boyfriend, who try to plan everything around when the kids can be together at the same time. He feels like he's now blending with his ex's new fam more than anything.
interested to know if anyone else has experienced this and can weigh in. (Children are 5-6; divorces were 2-3 years ago.)