I hear you...I'm in a blended family with 5 kids...3 are from my EX who we get along great with...parent the same just better friends now then when we were married. But Its sooo much easier with a sane EX .My Fiance has one son from his previous who's 7...BM is a nutcase and SS is a liar no manners and con's anyone to get what he wants...unfortunately I can't stand him. Then we have one bio son together. I dread when SS comes over...he is always dirty..picks his nose and wipes it on everything...I find I turn into a bitch when he walks in the door...my fiance always says I am a different person when he's here...I can't help it. I understand everything you wrote...I feel the same....its to the point of not wanting to stay with the man I love because I hate his son...sounds mean right?

Everything both of you said is me. 6 kids all up. 3 skids, 2 mine, 1 ours.

The food thing is pretty common I think. Why would I bother cooking for ungrateful skids. I hide the snacks and treats from skids, otherwise they would eat the lot of them before they went home and my kids would have nothing for school lunches. I actually try to run the pantry lower on treats on their weekends, they would eat 200 bags of chips and 50 cans of soda if they saw them. Their father does not limit them.

My friends actually call my ss Damian because they see how bad he is....I've tried disengaging but DH is making it hard wants this big happy family..but until I get his rose colored glasses its not here. Bm actually told him he's allowed to lie to his dad and I to not get into trouble...what? Let's him play Black ops at 7 yrs old but tells dh he's not allowed but ss told us his mom let him...just what this bully needs more violence. Ss goes home today...counting down but is back to mm after work for a few hours. I don't want to hide away and miss out on my bios time...but omg when he touches my son who's 8 months it makes me cringe... I hate feeling like this.

>My step kids bio mom is way different than we are. She calls herself "polyamourous" which basically means she has no boundaries and doesn't respect others boundaries.

That is NOT what polyamorous means. Sorry to burst that bubble.

I've hid away in the bedroom, to the point that my kids have called me on it.check. I've hidden food from them, check
I've made better food when I know they won't be there. oh hell yes check
I've given up on trying to be cheerful or even say hello. check
I yelled at one of them have done this once too
I don't do their laundry, I do wash anything they put in the hamper - but I resent doing it.... at first BM banned me from washing their clothes - but I think now she realises I do it better than her - I get out the stains and keeps colours and whites white and bright - no grey clothes here!! So I think she sends over things from home for them to sneak into my washing.... found a pair of greyish ladies undies the other day - no-one hear owns them - they are a very large size.... About the size of BM's fat arse is my guess. They went in the bin...

I don't invite them shopping anymore ( I used to but they always say no, so I've given up) Mine don't say no, they take take take - even when it's not hers SD will take LOL anything I buy for anyone is fair game to her.

I don't buy them things when I'm shopping, they just refuse them anyway Again, they don't refuse, but unless I have to I don't buy anything special for them

I don't ask about their day ( or when I do its really forced) Nope. never.
I have a really hard time giving them positive reinforcement, but it flows from me like a river to my two kids. that would involve finding something positive to reinforce.... nope.

I dread it when my husband tries to plan things for all of us to do together and I try to get out of it. I still go on family outings and even just with OH and the skids every chance - they LIKE to exclude me from outings and I am DONE with that shit.

I don't want them to know anything about what we are doing financially, due to fear of them telling their mother who will use it against us at first chance. Oh hell no, the only financial stuff they hear from me is that we can't afford it

I notice every negative thing they do and "tell their dad" so he can deal with it.

I notice it, I have stopped telling him, it just leads to fighting between us.

I don't hide in my room anymore - I have reclaimed MY living room. If SD is sprawled in MY place on the couch watching her kids TV crap (which she would do 24/7 if we let her) and I want to relax I WILL go in there and take back MY seat and MY TV.

I generally leave the cooking to my OH when they are here - they bitch and moan if they think I cooked something - OH can present burnt anything and it's "the best they've ever tasted" So now he cooks WE have MUCH better meals when they aren't here.... and my dd's will sometimes say "do we HAVE to have sausages tonight, can't we have the stir-fry chicken/lasagne/whatevers" that they know I have planned for a non-skid night.... and SD will be all "yeah I'd rather have that"

But NOPE - dad can't cook that so it's sausages, sorry - I did add once - "but you don't LIKE my cooking SD so I can't cook while you are here" And BM has told them not to eat my cooking etc.

And I don't stock up on snacks etc or I hide them while skids are here - the same deal with the lunchbox snacks, OH has in the past given away my kids lunchbox food so I had nothing to put in the lunchboxes one day, I told him NEVER to touch that container again as it's lunchbox food and I only buy enough each week to cover school and dancing lunches. OTHER snacks are kept elsewhere and he can give freely of those.... (they aren't as nice ) SD will search the pantry for packets of biscuits, chips etc and sneak them to her toom. I hide everything now or don't buy so much on skid weekends.