You are here

Bereavement

Francis Thacker's picture

Submitted by Francis Thacker on Tue, 02/20/2007 - 7:11am

Forums: 
Blended Family Issues

I am a single mother of one and my new partner is a recently bereaved Step Dad (now divorcing that partner). Bundle with this the fact his ex has now stopped him seeing the other Step child (think she's highly manipulative), she is sending me abusive emails and it's the dead childs "birthday" on Friday, I'm struggling to cope with the situation. I'm a balanced, optimistic person who feels slightly aggreaved that through loving my Man I have unwittingly been dumped with all this baggage. I have no experience of death, stepchildren or manipulative people so any advice most appreciated

Ellen's picture

Submitted by Ellen on Wed, 02/21/2007 - 2:45am

I have dealt with death and it is not easy. My husband lost his son to suicide when he was 13 years old. This is not a time for win or lose this is a time for understanding and support. Allow your husband to grieve on this special day, be close and at hand in case he needs you. I suggest not bringing the fact up unless he wants to discuss it. hug him as he walks by or give him a wink if he looks at you. Its not a comfortable situation but it needs to be dealt with. As for the emails I would store them and if they are threatening call the police, if not print them off and give them to your lawyer. Your husband can not control what his ex wife does but you can control the amount of love and understanding you are willing to give to your man.
Take care. I hope all works out. Keep me posted
Ellen

new evil stepmom's picture

Submitted by new evil stepmom on Wed, 02/21/2007 - 9:37am

that is tough. your concerns make mine look so tiny. i too have no baggage and now with 12 yo sd - i thought that was bad. support your partner as much as you can and let him know you love him. my biggest mistake was complaining about bm and sd over heard some things. i wish sd wouldn't have heard anything.