Bedrooms
Do you have bedrooms for your SK that stay every other weekend?
He has 2 kids from previous relationships and I have a daughter that is with us every other WEEK and we have a baby together. He moved into my house after I got pregnant and I supplied an area for his kids toys and a room for his daughter to share with our baby. My daughter is older and has own room. His son sleeps on couch. Our home is VERY small. He doesn't work because he's filing for disability. He also doesn't drive. So I was kind enough to take on all financial responsibility for him and his kids while here. We've been looking at houses because he finally had a disability hearing ( after 18 months of this) and I said I didn't want to relocate out of town because I'm the only one commuting to work and I'm also responsible to get my daughter to school in her school district. Unfortunately in our town homes are pricey and a 4 bedroom that he wants will most likely not be an option but If it was I'd be all for it. I said if we had to get another 3 bedroom with more square footage I think that is practical for our situation. He's treating me like I'm some monster because his son will still have to sleep on the couch. Is it that horrible of me?
Let me see if I have this
Let me see if I have this straight. You are a monster because you provide a home and all support for he and his spawn.
WTF is wrong with you you evil, evil, woman you??? :?
:jawdrop: :sick: :sick: :sick:
(Sarcasm!)
He doesn't work, he doesn't
He doesn't work, he doesn't drive. You pay all the bills, own the house, and presumably, you would be buying a new home? Because you do not want to buy more house then you can afford, you are a monster? Seriously?
My adivce is ditch him and stay in the house you already have without him. Then you will have plenty of room for your two children.
Beggars can't be choosers.
Beggars can't be choosers.
....he's filing for
....he's filing for disability..... he finally had a disability hearing (after 18 months of this)....
Don't count on money until he gets the hearing results. Not all disability hearings are successful.
Agreed. After 3 hip
Agreed.
After 3 hip replacements, a quad bypass, a shower stroke, balance issues, etc... it took my FIL 3 disability applications to finally get disability and it took about 7 years to make happen. It was not until we insisted he use a disability attorney that his application finally resulted in an actual doctors visit. When the doc saw him wobbling and stumbling around the exam room he immediately signed the disability Dx form.
The OP should not hold her breath on his disability being approved from his first hearing. It can take years and many runs at it before it happens... if it ever does.
I've known him for about 6
I've known him for about 6 years. But When I started dating him he had just filed for disability 3 months prior and was living at his mom's. We married April of this year. He says he is fine with his son on the couch at my house but when we get a place of our own he absolutely will not stand for it because he will be contributing too. Well I clearly make considerably more than he does and I'm tired of over stretching myself for kids that are there 50 days a year. I realize I've allowed this and now it's my mess to clean up but it's very upsetting.
Since he was and is not
Since he was and is not working, you earn considerably more than him even if your job is fast food at minimum wage.
If the kids visit four days a month, and he insists on a room for his son, perhaps his mom can accommodate him and his kids for visits.
Right now you have a house in your name. You have equity. Unless he can contribute and equal amount of equity, do not sell your house and buy one with him. If you do you are putting the financial future of your and your children in jeopardy. If you decide you aren't willing to support him and his kids forever, the marriage will end and he will walk off with half of your equity.
Before you make any financial decisions, talk to a lawyer about how to preserve your finances. You didn't sign a prenup, but perhaps a post nup is in order. If your H is not wiling to talk about it, that's a huge red flag.
As to where to move, if you are the only one working, your commute needs primary consideration.
We have the same problem just
We have the same problem just not enough bedrooms for everyone that lives there. It is hard and the SS does have room for his stuff but he has to sleep on the couch for right now. He is with us every weekend. We talked to him about it and he was "no big deal, when I go to my friend's houses I usually sleep on the couch or floor anyway." Its probably a bigger deal to your husband that it is your SS. As long as my SS has access to the internet and food he could care less. If it is only every other weekend you could sleep with one of the daughters and see if your husband likes the solution of his son sleeping with him better
We live in a small 3 bedroom.
We live in a small 3 bedroom. I have a DD9 and DS4. He has a SD7 and SD4 that come every other weekend, 7/7 during summer and half of holiday breaks.
We have a girl's room and my son has his own room since he's the only boy. We have a set of bunk beds in both rooms but the girl's room has a trundle underneath to make 3 beds so everyone has their own bed and space to sleep.
My step daughter has her own
My step daughter has her own space here. She shares a very large bedroom with my 8 yo daughter. They both love it.
We made that choice and arrangement for our family situation. I would NOT be moving if I were in urs.
What ever you do - do not
What ever you do - do not sell your current house, never, it will stay the way it is and if your DH does not like it... so be it, he can take his brats and move out, to a new bigger place, you just make sure you do not sign for anything...
Is it possible for the 2 girls to share and his son and the baby? Or the baby moves into your room for week-ends?
just asking, if not possible then don't do it.
Ohhhhh No!! You're DH would
Ohhhhh No!! You're DH would just have to deal with it. I can understand him wanting his son to have a room...I am sure you do too. But to demand it when you have been supporting him all this time,,NO WAY!!