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Apparently we can GET OUT

FrackturedBradyBunch's picture

Have just had a ding dong argument with DH regarding my BioSon 21 and our BlendedSon7.

Apparently if I continue to allow Blended7 to talk to his own brother, BioSon21 then BioSon and I can just get out because he doesn't want Blended7 to "turn out like him"...

This came about because Blended7 actually complained to me the other day that his dad is telling him off for talking to his own brother. When I asked DH about this, he just said, yes I did. I was stunned, I really thought Blended7 had got it wrong.

BioSon21 was 11 when DH and the 3 Skids came on the seen. He was always a quiet boy, hung out with well mannered quite friends and still does. Geez, he didn't even go and get drunk on his 18th (18 is the drinking age here in Aus). Now, BS is a gamer, BUT he does work fulltime and supports himself. The gamer part is what DH doesn't like. Keep in mind, I'm an internet nerd and gamer also. Neither BS21 or I are full on gamers, it's an interest when there is time to kill

FrackturedBradyBunch's picture

Well RainDancer, Mr7 is daddy's boy through and through but I feel he was really hurt by his father telling him he could not talk with his brother because he told me about it! Usually he would say nothing.....

I knew my DH resented my sons but I never knew to this extent. I am soooo pissed I can't even talk to him now, I just want OUT!!! I have had to raise and drive and teach and care for his 3 daughters from toddler age and he has had to do the grand total of NOTHING for my sons and still he is this jealous after all these years.

Disneyfan's picture

He sounds like SMs out there who dislike/resent well behaved/respectful SKs just because they exist. Some people just can't accept the fact that their husband or wife had a life before them. Trying to keep their bio away from the SK is all a part of their sick desire to pretend the SKs do not exist.

FrackturedBradyBunch's picture

BS21 has a very good relationship with his own father and so DH not taking any notice of him never bothered him, he neither needed or wanted another father. BS21 has had to listen to snide remarks, nasty comments made loud enough for him to hear and of course me arguing with DH about it all....and still he has kept his manners. If DH is around when BS comes in the room he will say hello etc... DH will sometimes and sometimes not answer....

Yes, I think it has been hit on the head, BS is DHs reminder that I indeed did have a life prior to him, just as his 3 daughters who I have cared for full time for 10 years remind me....difference being I'm not an immature idiot who resents them just for being.

They are a bizarre family, DH and his children and parents.....the GrandParents actually ignored our Mr7 for about the first 4 years of his life just because the 3 skids were "hurting" because of his birth! WTF??

Rags's picture

I am on the fence on this one. I get that DS-21 is self supporting and I get that he is the 7yo's brother. They should have a relationship.

However, as dad to SS-22 who has allowed his gaming bullshit to interfere with his life I get where your DH is coming from. He does not want his son wasting any of his life to the use of someone else's imagination.

My SS allowed his idiot father to facilitate their joint gaming addiction and it cost him a top 20 in the nation boarding school education and an early commission in the US Army. The skid has been in the USAF for 3 years and is doing very well but yet again his life is not a real one. It is a digital one. His relationships all occur within online gaming communities. IRL he has his first serious relationship that is going sour very quickly now that his SO has moved in with him. When they lived 2hours apart they each made an effort to see each other, do activities together, speak regularly on the phone, etc... Now that SO has moved in with my SS they are both miserable. SO is pissed because SS is buried in his game world every moment he is not at work and SS is pissed that his SO is on his ass constantly about engaging, talking, doing actual things rather than sitting on his ass and living a digital fantasy life.

SS calls his mom (my bride) complaining about how unhappy he is with the relationship and of course when I point out what is blatantly obvious, of course SO is pissed kid since moving 2 hours from his home, job, and family to be with you have absolutely nothing to say or do with SO because you are buried in some stupid game, I am the bad guy. For most of the time since he was `12 we have not allowed gaming. None, period. When we sent him to an amazing Military boarding school he thrived academically, athletically, and as a leader until the Sperm Idiot hacked the school fire wall so that they could WoW together all night every night and the Skid was comatose all day. He went from star to idiot looser in just a few weeks after his SPerm Idiot hacked the firewall.

We pulled him home at mid year, destroyed all gaming capability, yes we physically destroyed the PS-2, the Wi, the laptop, the DS, (the Sperm Clan gave his the game systems, we gave him the laptop.) all of it turned into little bitty pieces of scrap. We stayed on his ass so he graduated on time and with honors. His grades and ASVAB scores gave him a great opportunity in the USAF which he has done very well at. He manages to keep the bullshit gaming from interfering with his profession but he sacrifices a real life for that digital bullshit and calls his mom and I whining and crying about how his SO does not understand him.

So, yes, I completely understand how and why your DH would not want his son to be anything like his elder brother. Surviving then burying yourself in some fantasy digital scalping of someone else's imagination is not a life.

My kid is awesome but his refusal to live in the real world makes me want to puke. :sick:

FrackturedBradyBunch's picture

LOL..our gaming is nothing like this, my son hangs out with friends playing footy, he has a girlfriend, he works full time in the open air. We certainly don't pay or hack to game.

Nope, I really think it is as mentioned, DH is jealous of BS21 existence.

Disney, regarding staying, lots of factors involved, but I guess BS21 and I just didn't care. It wasn't as apparent in our faces, BS21 saw his own father everynight, we just didn't notice.

I really think BS21 is now doing the Mexican standoff, staying around just to annoy DH