Anyone else feel like this?
Pretty nervous about posting on here but I’m hoping other people will feel the same and understand. My partner has a 5 year old and we have a 4 month old baby. We have SS every weekend. Before I had our little girl I loved my SS but having my own child has made me realise it’s a different kind of love. I’ll never love my SS In the same way as I love my own baby. Since the birth I’ve barely been able to tolerate my SS. He’s boisterous and clumsy and has almost fallen or stepped on the baby numerous times. We have to watch him constantly when he’s with the baby. My partner feels guilt over the break up with his ex and overcompensates with his son. At weekends I always feel that he makes him he centre of everything. It’s always about what he wants to do, what he wants to eat etc. my partner spends barely any time with the baby and doesn’t have much of a bond with her at all even though I don’t think that’s intentional. He just said this weekend he wants to spend the whole weekend doing stuff with his son. I feel resentful and neglected. I do everything at home and whilst he’s hard working he’s lazy around the house and doesn’t appreciate eveything I do. I do worry that our baby will get treated differently to his son simply because of the guilt. We have barely any time together because we have SS every weekend and that’s non negotiable. I would love some time just the three of us but it’ll never happen. Can’t count evenings as he gets in late and it’s dinner and bed. I feel awful resenting a 5 year old. He’s just a child but at the weekends I crave peace and quiet in my own home and instead I spend my weekends having to keep an eye on SS and the baby and constantly tidying and cleaning - I’m aware I probably need to let that go a bit as we have a family home but SS has all his toys downstairs all weekend when he has a huge room (bigger than the baby’s) upstairs. I feel my feelings of resentment are bringing a wedge between my partner and I. SS can be devious and aggressive and my partner gets very frustrated with him. But I find it even harder as he’s not my child! But I couldn’t ever tell my partner that. I’m so unhappy right now and wondering if this is as good as it gets?!