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Am I wrong for feeling like this?

Vr2010's picture

Hello new to this group. Would love some insight on my situation. I have been with my so for 3 years and we have a child together. I have 3 children from a previous relationship and he has 1. I hate to feel this way but I feel like his child is very spoiled and needy. She wants help with everything and constant attention and because of this I am the one who cares for our baby alone. When he is home he caters to her and does whatever she wants. Yet I take care of my 3 children and the one we have together by myself and also his while he is at work. I have gotten to the point where I am looking for a way out because I cannot cater to her or deal with the constant neediness she has all day while I try to care for my other 4 children. I am also very paranoid watching her because of her mother. My so has full custody but she sees her every other weekend. Not long after I got with my so she claims one weekend she had the child that she told her my son touched her on her private areas. She then took her to the hospital to be tested to see. Then it went to court and was eventually dropped because they never found anything. Since this I have been a nervous wreck watching her because idk what the mother will make up next. I care for the daughter full time and it has made me very anxious and depressed. Any advice here would be appreciated. 

Thought-i-had-this's picture

Have you spoken to SO about any of it? Maybe he will be willing to swap positions for a while? If work allows it?

I think you need to express to him about how you feel anyway, unfortunately there's not alot you can actually do to prevent spending time with this child. You could try to improve her behaviour yourself with SO of course but that's up to you if you want to put that time in? It likely won't be thanked and will be hard like any parenting so think carefully. You can help her improve if you want to, you have majority time with her. Her BM will always be a problem for as long as you're with SO and shes under 18. The case came to nothing and other than ensuring she feels safe in your home and making sure your son is behaving is all you can do...maybe consider separating them when you can or keeping a more monitored situation on the son in question just in case there was truth to it.