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Am I being reasonable?

mamamomo's picture

The closer I get to my due date the more I worry. I dont want my SS5 anywhere near the baby and I just know this is going to cause a huge fight. I dont think SS will harm the baby at all it is just that he is so gross. He does things like wet the bed and then wear it for a few hours after he wakes up until he gets close enough for me to smell the urine on him. He digs in his butt and scratches it all the time. He poured out all his soap and at bath time just sat in water every bath time until I noticed his body odor (I disengaged so I dont check on his bathing rituals) and when I told DH your kid stinks u need to figure out what the prob is SS said he had ran out of soap a long time ago he thought water got him clean. He poops on himself and is fine with wearing it until I smell it. He poops in the tub. And he hates to wash his hands and hates soap. I really dont want him any where near my newborn. I don't want him to touch her or even breath the same air as her, he just grosses me out so much I try not to touch him. Is it unreasonable for me to allow my DD's to hold and play with the baby and tell SS that the baby is off limits?

I have already told SS in front of DH that he would not be allowed near the baby if he didnt "clean up" his act but I can already see DH telling SS to wash his hands and he can hold her.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

This level of "lack of hygiene" is actually something that I would have a real bone to pick with DH about if I were you.

For one, put the baby issue aside for a second. This kid sounds like Pigpen from Charlie Brown/Peanuts comics. He is contaminating everything in the house, everything that he touches, with his germies ALL DAY LONG.

This pooping and peeing and sitting in it isn't normal. Why does your DH allow this to continue? Either the kid needs medical attention for a problem he has, or he's got a screw loose and your DH needs to get on top of this problem. It's outrageous.

In the meantime, I wouldn't just have the kid wandering the house like a feral cat peeing and pooping and boogering on everything. I would designate one bathroom that he could use, and then otherwise he can stay in his room OR he can choose to behave in a hygienic manner. Either way I wouldn't let him touch anything my baby might ever touch. Ewwwwwww!

StubbornEnough's picture

"In the meantime, I wouldn't just have the kid wandering the house like a feral cat peeing and pooping and boogering on everything."

This made me laugh so hard, Hubby asked me what I was reading....

mamamomo's picture

He does have his own bathroom, My BD's stopped sharing with him because of his hygiene and he is not allowed to use my bathroom after he peed all over my toilet. DH does try to help but my sense of smell is a lot stronger than his so I notice first. We've talked to him several times trying to teach better hygiene and we've told him this could make him and everyone else very sick. We've taken him to the pediatrician and he referred us to a psychologist which put us on a waiting list for 4 months. I can't bath him for my own safety his BM is nuts she already tried to spread rumors that I beat on him so I protect myself by not doing any discipline and I go one step further by making sure I dont bath or dress him.