aghhh I need to vent
Between MY ex, HIS, and the SDs I'm about to pull my hair out. My kids are even driving me bananas!!! I don't know why I bother some days.
So his ex has been trying to pit the girls againts HIM by basically being the "fun mom" with no rules or boundaries in their house. None. It's insane. This is a new thing, too. For years the girls had zero relationship with their mother... Now that SO is with me she has all the sudeen become their BFF so she has a relationship and basically tells them that their dad has rules and is no fun and everything bad is his fault and to prove this point she schedules things fun for them on HIS time, then calls with them on the speakerphine with her to "discuss" it so if he says no he looks mean. So then when he this last time had this done he said he would think about it... Basically SD11 wanted to go to a friends house her mom apparently hadn't "been able to" let her play with. Ummm this is her new thing to do on SO's time. It happened last time it was SO's time too and we gave up his time bc of it that day. This time he decided to go get her earlier from the friends house but still let her go. When HER told SD11 this SD11 got upset and HER replies "its his time and he can do what he wants and I can't do anything about it. Oh well." And then didn't tell SO what happened so he got blindsided by a very upset kid when he picked her up and she was a brat all night.
Now SD11 is acting like she is leaving early to go to church with HER tomorrow instead of us. We already agreed this would NOT happen on our weekends. They WILL go to our church on our weekends (our church is a lot more youth friendly anyways and SD11 has fun there but now our church is evil bc her mom is convincing them of this I'm sure). She's upset now bc that isn't gonna happen bc I said NO as did SO. Wtf is the deal???? Aghhhh if HER would leave it alone we would have great weekends w all the kids!
Well, he just left to just
Well, he just left to just take her home. I gave up. We got into it big time over this whole ordeal and I just gave up and said "just take her the eff home. This is YOUR problem but I REFUSE to let this be our life. It's disruptive to me, my kids, and our plans."
What led to that was after we were in the car the SD11 asked to call her mom. DUH. He just handed her the phone without a "we need to talk about this" at all. SD11 calls her mom whining she wants to go home. OMFG.. so she tells her to tell her dad to bring her home at 6pm. OH HECK NO!!! This wasn't discussed with her dad at all!!!! So now we have an upset 11 yr old ruling our house. THIS IS NOT going to work for me. And this is the second of our weekends in a row she's been allowed to do this. I have a son close to her age. I do NOT let him act this way AT ALL. He's a PAIN, too.. he's ADHD, ASD, and very hard to handle and I keep him in check. He is letting an 11 year old control our family and I'm NOT okay with that.
The other 2 girls don't even come over b/c their mom has them so snowed. This is ridiculous. She's pulling some MAJOR PAS on these kids. Luckily SO's mother is already supportive of me and is on OUR side b/c she got hold of the girls BEFORE their mother's PAS and they made it very clear that I was great, SO has been a great daddy, and they really wanted us to be together AND they wanted to LIVE WITH US.. until around Christmas this was their stance.. then a week before Christmas HER discovered being the "fun mom" got her a long way with the girls and all the sudden everything flipped and they hate us, our church, and don't want to be around any of us. They didn't get anything for christmas from us b/c I had worked 3 jobs close to Christmas trying to give them an AWESOME Christmas and the kids too and they wanted to just come over long enough to get presents and leave b/c they "didn't want to be part of the brady bunch" all of the sudden thanks to the things their mom was saying... so they got NOTHING I had worked so hard to get for them. I refused to just hand them gifts with a smile. I'm not that person. I will not be used for that crap.
Im glad you stood your
Im glad you stood your ground. Looks like your DH needs to too. It's hard to let go for some, but he cant allow this type of behavior to continue- it's only going to get worse.