advice on a 3year old
My roommate has a 3 year old little girl. He is a single dad. About 2 months ago the BM broke-up with her boyfriend and moved 3 hours away. Since she left she has only seen her daughter for an 8 day visit and that was a month ago. There are always excuses why she can't see her daughter and several broken promises of "mommy will see you soon". Phone calls are sporadic. Her mom is not exactly the model parent. With her departure I have been helping to take care of my roommates daughter. We have gotten quite close. We were close before her mom left but we are closer now. Im not involved with my roommate so im technically not a stepparent. But i have several questions. Any advice would be great.
How do I explain to her that I am not mommy? We've tried the you only have one mommy and one daddy and remind her to call me by my first name. But that only works so long cause if I take her out or take her to preschool other people refer to me as "Mommy". So she hears other people especially other children refer to me as her mommy.
Last night she was on a rare call to her mom and her mom told her that she loved her. Well my roommates daughter became upset and told her mom "No you don't! You can't say that! You don't love me!" I have never heard her dad tell her anything like that and I haven't told her anything like that. How do I handle that? Cause she likes to come and sit and talk to me. (Very smart little girl and very articulate) I remind her that mommy loves her but she is adamit that mom doesn't.
Her dad is doing a good job dealing with the stresses that the mom has created with her departure. But I can see some of the frustration he's going through. Also, his daughter is in a "no dad, I dont want you to help me, I want Shannon to help me" She is my little shadow. He tells her to do something and then looks at me as if to confirm she supposed to do it. I know part of it is the age but I am worried about him getting mad at me when she's in her stubborn mood. Cause a few times when she's done it he's thrown his hands in the air and walked away saying whatever.
Again any advise would be great. thanks