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2 Teens - drugs - Who's lying?

7Butterflies's picture

Okay, I'm not sure where to start… And this may not be easy-to-follow! my stepson 15 was caught smoking weed & stealing our alcohol several months ago. We know that his friends continued to do so. He's claiming he no longer is. His bio mom has been questioning him a lot. My stepson confides in my son (19) frequently. My son is indicated he thinks stepson is still using. My son also told me that my daughter (16) bought a friend a pipe to smoke pot. On one occasion my daughter had a friend over and there was coughing coming from her bedroom followed by burning of incense. As I said, my stepson's bio mom has been questioning him a lot lately. During this questioning my stepson said that my daughter is buying things over the Internet. I believe it's in regards to the pipe that she actually bought for my "stepson's friend". She Admitted to me yesterday that she bought it for him and that this friend also asked her to buy synthetic weed over the Internet recently. She said she told him no. I'm just not sure if my stepson is lying about my daughter using to try to deflect the situation or if she could possibly be using. I'm not One of those parents that would say not my kid! There was reference to her using an illegal prescription drug. I don't see where child would go from not doing anything to such a big abuse problem. Wouldn't there be other progressive drugs in between? Such as smoking weed drinking, cigarettes, etc.?

Here is what we "know"… Stepson was caught smoking pot and drinking. bio daughter bought pot pipe for stepsons friend.

It's been hard with the blended family because they don't respect me is an authority figure. They feel that all I do is come down on them. I comedown I'm my own children too. It's funny how stepchildren on both sides feel that we favor our own bio children more. My 19-year-old of course doesn't want to get in the middle of it and hasn't told me much recently. I've tried not to let my stepson know where I'm hearing these things. At this point he thinks it's from his bio mother. The bio mother is notorious for inflating stories and lying. I believe that whatever her son told her very easily could have been inflated regarding my daughter. My daughter is on prescription medication due to PCOS. I'm wondering if my stepson said she ordered things over the Internet & is taking prescription drugs (referring to her prescribed meds). He probably was being questioned by his mother and wanted to make himself look better.

I have no other proof of my daughter actually using anything. She doesn't hang out with friends frequently and his anxiety issues & never handled the divorce well. She recently dropped out of school and is home 95% of the of the time. She has ADHD and things failed miserably for her in high school. She does things such as sewing, baking, and has been very helpful around the house recently. Of course she didn't like these allegations. I'm just not sure if I'm missing something with her or what?

7Butterflies's picture

One thing I forgot to mention - My stepson is very worried and always has been that his friends will find out what we know. I am friends with the mother of my stepson's friend who he was caught smoking with. While I've never told my friend exactly what we know about her son, I have hinted about it & told her that we caught our son.

jumanji's picture

My guess, not knowing either of them? That it is entirely likely BOTH are smoking weed. (The coughing followed by burning of incense is a red flag for me...)

As for the prescription drugs? A lot of kids view them as "legal" drugs because they're prescription. So it's not always a huge leap for them to go from little/no use to popping a pill...

7Butterflies's picture

The prescription drug that was implied that she was using was oxycodone. Wouldn't I see some sort of symptoms of that type of drug abuse?

hismineandours's picture

No, not necessarily-if she were using it daily in excessive amounts sure you would probably eventually pick up on some signs of it-but if she popped a low dosage oxy here and there you'd probably never notice. Pills are a big thing now, they are easier to hide and it seems like they are ever available. She may have popped a prescription pill here or there.

I guess I am confused as to why she is buying a pipe for ss's friend? Is that some sort of gift? Doesnt make alot of sense to me. Can you check her history on the computer? Also typically to purchase anything over the internet you need a debit/credit card-does your daughter have one of those? If so check the charges, check the charges on your card. Be ever so helpful in "cleaning" her room for her one day while she's out.

7Butterflies's picture

She used to have a crush on ss's friend. I'm guessing that is why she bought it. Can't check history on her computer, she has a password on it. She doesn't like anyone touching her things. She's been that way since I can remember so that is nothing new.

jumanji's picture

Then she should not have a computer in her room. Sorry. She has already violated your trust by buying a pipe for SS's friend. Yank the 'Net access from her room.

I'm curious - what does she do all day, since she doesn't go to school? Are you also home?

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

Go to your nearest pharmacy and buy some drug test kits. Easy peasy to figure out who is not being truthful, as many of the drugs leave traces for more than a few days.

Edited to add: You can also buy the kits and threaten a less severe punishment if they tell you the truth before you make them use it.

Orange County Ca's picture

I'm sure most high school kids try drugs but a awful lot of them don't continue using especially after the peer pressure is relieved which is where your daughter is now.

From your description she's not using heavily if at all. I'm sure you can find the symptoms or signs of light and heavy drug use on-line - perhaps the reference above.

Since both of these kids have been proven to have some involvement in drug use now is a good time to get the literature as suggested above and the drug kits if you want to go that far.

Try the threat "two weeks from now we're testing for drugs so don't be surprised when I show up asking for a body sample". If the kid cuts his hair down to bald its because hair stores marijuana and perhaps other drugs so you can test back for months by using hair.

Nartotics Anoymous (NA) is also a good place for parents of suspected drug users.

7Butterflies's picture

I found out a little more information. Ss's mother was possibly exaggerating things a bit as I suspected. I guess my daughter hollowed out pages in a book - she said to hide her cash. Her dad gave her a significant amount last year. She even told her dad she had done this to keep it safe. After she opened a bank account (thus the debit card), she no longer needed the book and offered it to ss to hid his "stuff". He didn't accept the book. Here's were it gets interesting, one day when she wasn't home, he went in her room to borrow a computer microphone and decided to hunt for the book. He found it and inside were small tic tac sized blue pills. There was no mention of oxycodone to his mother; mom made that part up. I do realize there were pills in there and that is a concern. She has trouble sleeping so I'm wondering if it was some of my ibuprofen pm or possibly Allie (diet pills) as she is a bit overweight from having PCOS. Does anyone know of other small blue pills?? yes, there is viagara- would a teen girl take that???

I am probably going to take her to a drug rehab place in my area. I was told that insurance will cover her talking to a counselor and probably the drug test. I was also told that kids will usually disclose usage to a counselor.

I found out from my son (19), that ss has smoked weed, drank, and took an unknown drug on at least one occasion since we last caught him.

What a few days I've had! Happy Holidays! Blum 3

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Small blue pills could be, roxies they generally come in the form of a small round blue pill in doses as high as 30mg. It is known to be synthetic heroin, or lab heroine. Opiate family and highly addictive. Check them out ASAP!

7Butterflies's picture

From what I just read, I highly doubt she's taking Roxies. I can't imagine she wouldn't be addicted if she was taking them and the pills were caplet tablets not round flat pills.

7Butterflies's picture

As ridiculous as this may sound, they weren't blue & they were mints all along. At least that's what the story has come to be. My daughter showed me the mints & my stepson said they were white not blue... The story was changed somewhere along the line. I still don't generally trust teens though.... I know the things I did, my friends did, & things my siblings did... I know lots of the tricks... Maybe I'm too suspecting... Love my kids & wouldn't want harm to come to any of them!! Ss still has to talk to us but did say he's used since the last time we caught him. Said next time he comes here, he'll explain... He said "yeah they could have just been mints all along". During this investigation, I discovered a lot about my daughter I didn't know. I actually feel closer to her now.

Disneyfan's picture

It sounds like they are both using and lying.

Why would your daughter hide ibuprofen or diet pills?

Disneyfan's picture


jumanji's picture

I think the two kids are trying to deflect you. I would really suggest drug testing both of them. Without warning.