I can definately see your point, but also see SD's issue too.  In her mind, she has two houses....mom's house and dad's house.  I think 99% of kids of divorce look at it that way.  But if it bothers you, tell her to call it "our house".  I'm a single dad and my kids call it "our house" when talking with me, but "dad's house" when talking to friends.  I don't know your situation, but would be willing to bet it's not a dig at you. 

I would not likely be offended if one of my Skids said "dad's house" or "my dad's house" to one of their friends, but if they said it to me or to DH's family, I'd be annoyed. I see the first instance as a differentiation between which location they'll be at, but if they were asking me to take them to "dad's house", I'd probably be sarcastic and ask them where his house was...to point out that "dad's house" is actually my house, too. 

Seems like a petty thing to get upset over, and I say that as both a SM and a COD. As a COD, I'd reference house by parent for ease. As a SM, I refer to BM's place as "BM's house" even though it's her and her DH's place. The boys reference my house as "Dad's house", and I refer to it as "our house".

As much flack as we give CODs, they tend to be doing a lot of mental gymnastics, hoping not to step on someone's toes. Can't say "Dad and SM's house" in from of BM because she'll get upset, so they get used to saying "Dad's house". Can't say that, though, to SM because she might get upset. Also can't call the CP's house "home" because it might offend the NPC whose house isn't seen as "home".

We adults put far more emphasis on what most kids are saying than the kids do. Unless it's disrespectful or comes from someone who has a history of disrespect, seems like letting it go is the way to handle it.

My skids do that too.  It doesn't bother me because I know they're differentiating between Mom's house and Dad's house, not making a statement about the ownership or dominion of the house.  In our case, while it may be Dad's home, it's ndc's house - but skids don't know or have any reason to know that.

I see your point.

Maybe this is why---Our bm called what ever her address was that week or month,  the kids only "home". OMG 'cant wait until your home'. 'When you get HOME"..The dog cant wait until YOUR HOME....

Our home was never the kids home it was Dads house. "When you leave dads house".."are YOU ok at dads house"..."TRY to have good day at dads" "Grandma thought you would like to come home early from dads house to go to the MOVIES"

Sucker punch to my dh to  minimize a good home life Verses her rap sheet life.  But what ever. They wanted it they got it.

OP--come here to vent. Please do not allow her to get under your skin. Its a waste of your precious time.

If you wanted to, you can tell the kids the next time you hear it. "I was wondering, what kind of house do YOU want when you decide to buy one. Your dad and I bought this one together because we liked the bedrooms and the yard.  Do you want a big yard with maybe a pool. How many bedrooms. Super dooper big kitchen?

I believe kids should know the truth,  worded based on their age.

JMO

Is how I would address it.  SS was absolutely clear in where his home was from the toddler age onward.

The place in SpermLand where he stayed in visitation was  either "Grandma's house" or "The (LastNames)" house.

We dealt with it more directly during the discussions about "(SpermGrandHag) says your not my REAL dad(dy)?" discussions.

I see where you are coming from. I get annoyed when the skids refer to my bedroom and bathroom as "my dads bedroom" or "my dads bathroom". No, it's not just his, it's mine too. Lol. I don't think they mean anything by it, so I don't get bent out of shape  I just make it a point of saying "it's in your dads and mine" lol

This wouldn't bother me, it's an obvious shortening of mom/dad space and time.

HOWEVER - OSD told DH once (and I know many of you have heard this one before, but I'll repeat it), that it didn't "feel" like HIS house, more like Cover's house and she didn't like that. He then asked me to "back off" from things to make it look like he did more and have more authority. (YES he did)

After my jaw was picked up off the floor and I had recovered from laughing, I just said, Um, no. I pay the bills, I do the repairs, I do more cleaning, I make sure maintenance is done,and MY down payment bought it for us. "Hell no." OSD just didn't like my rules.

So the kid can refer to it as 'dad's house' but no way do they get to decide how that house is run.

The grandskids refer to our guest bedroom as notarelative's room. (My extra clothes are in the closet). The master bedroom they call their grandpa's room. The funny thing is that the furniture in the master is mine. It's a really nice set that was my parents. The furniture in the guest room is a set that DH had bought with his ex when they were first married. 

We married when both his kids and mine were adults and we live in a house that none of the kids has ever lived in. But, my kids refer to it as mom's and his kids refer to it as dad's. Mom's is the place where mom lives. Dad's is the place where dad lives. To the skids it's grandpa's house..

I wouldn't get mad over this terminology. It sucks but it's one of those it is what it is situations of step life. Maisd refers to bm's house as home and our house is dad's house. I don't really care she's there to see him not me. Back when she was littler and still cared what I thought she wants for marked that my husband and I were the king and queen of the house and she was the princess. So she knows how it stands. 

This is definitely ranked up there as annoying, but nothing to get too bent out of shape on. I try to refer to SK's moms house and "your mom and stepdads house" when we talk, just to reinforce that there's more people at play here than just SK, DH and BM. It definitely SEEMS like those 3 are the center of everyone universe at times, but I like to remind SK that there's other siblings, stepsiblings, step parents, grandparents, etc