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SS06 Hearing Voices and being clingy

Derbygirl31's picture

So this weekend ss06 had a variety show, he had 1 show Friday night and 2 shows on Saturday. I attended the Friday show with my partner (his mother) and his 2 grandmas and his father (side eye) ... I was out of town all day on Saturday and on Sunday all three of us went to this bike ride festival and spent the afternoon buying a new car.

SS06 has been supppppeerrr clingy to my partner this weekend. like insane. literally has to be touching her every second. He suddenly started baby talking (gross). On our way to the festival he told her that he is hearing voices and that they tell him to do bad things. He's NEVER said anything like that before. he couldn't say exactly what the voices were telling him and he would say he didn't want to talk about it, then when my partner would leave it alone, he would want to talk about it again. I told her I thought that he was saying that and sticking to it bc he noticed how engaged she was in the convo when he talked about it. He whispered it so I wouldn't hear. I'm assuming that's bc I always call him out on lying. At first I thought that since Saturday was all about him like without me in the picture, that he was just more attention hungry. But last night at dinner it was insane, he wanted to sit on her lap at the restaurant, had is hand on her shoulder the entire dinner, made sure he sat between us, asked her to sit in the back seat with him for the ride home... woke up this morning, started crying saying his ankle hurt, then was totally fine after she looked at it. Its driving me crazy. He loves his attention, but this is the most escalated its ever been. He's an only child and spoiled rotten by his Disney dad.

She's worried that something happened at school like abuse or something. I just think he's being annoying for attention.

We leave for a trip on Thursday... Thursday-Sunday. I hope he can get over it. But if he stays clingy all weekend, ugh, its going to be a really long 4 days. I told my partner maybe she should reassure him about always being his mom first. I told her I wasn't comfortable suddenly feeling like the third wheel but at the same time I understood if he needed mommy alone time.

anyone else deal with this? is there something to be worried about or is he just being an attention whore?

Derbygirl31's picture

haha thanks for the reply. he is a creepy kid for sure. makes me feel better knowing there are others out there lol

Derbygirl31's picture

well he has never known his mom and dad to be together. She left BD when she found out she was pregnant. she said she couldn't raise a kid in the closet. She's been in SS relationships since, so he only knows her as being gay and shes super open about it, not in your face or anything but she doesn't hide it.

we have been together for 2 years and living together for less than a year. its sooooooo different living with the kid.

its just so odd since usually hes ok with the attention stuff and we don't ever exclude him from things we can take him to.

Derbygirl31's picture

well he has never known his mom and dad to be together. She left BD when she found out she was pregnant. she said she couldn't raise a kid in the closet. She's been in SS relationships since, so he only knows her as being gay and shes super open about it, not in your face or anything but she doesn't hide it.

we have been together for 2 years and living together for less than a year. its sooooooo different living with the kid.

its just so odd since usually hes ok with the attention stuff and we don't ever exclude him from things we can take him to.

katzenjammer's picture

I had to tell my SO that his attentioncraving daughter (6yr) was literally distroying all sense of flirt/intimacy/relationship whenever she was in the room because she kept trying to physically place herself between us all the time and took over all conversations and kept talking over everyone.

Your partner isnt noticing it because to bio-parents its a "nice time" as long as they have both their partner and the kid in the same room, no matter how annoying the kid is and what a shitty time you are having: They have to be told about this because they cannot imagine their little angel being a nuicance to anyone. In these situations, bioparents literally forget to be a partner and becomes 100% parent (the kids whining/crying and nagging invokes the mindset) and no stepparent can handle that unless they go into parent-mode too, which is impossible for a stepparent. Whatever the kid is doing is cute for a bioparent, and completely transparent manipulation to others when they withness it. Talking about it after, is like you two weren't even in the same room.

Maybe try explain your partner that the kid is so demanding it takes the fun out of the times you all spend togheter for you? After I told my SO that whenever his daughter was clingy like that, those moments doesnt count as "relationship-time" to me, but rather "excluded-time" and if they want to keep this up I can go do other things and he can schedule child-free time with me when he's done catering his daughter. (We live toghether, but I have a "no-kids-allowed-room" where I go to relax without kids.) To enforce the rule I set for them, whenever she started pulling her manipulative shit I got up and said: "I see you want time with your father, I've decided to respect that, so I will go to my own room now. Enjoy." This was a bit hard in the beginning because it broke off things like movies, dinners and other activities we were doing togheter (its like she had a sixth sense of whenever we tried to do "couple-things".) But hey, it isnt going to be "couple-time" anyway, remember? Skid is gonna make it all about itself & gonna hog your partner all evening and you will be third wheel anyway. So just let them have that time alone. (Your partner will also get tired of having to entertain the kid alone when you could have been there and helped out too, and that will speed up the realization.)

My So really got annoyed by how this kept breaking off his plans, and first he got annoyed with me, but papa-bear cant really argue against people giving him time with his "oh so poor" daughter, right? So he had to look for the problem somewhere else, and soon he realized where these problems orginated, and he completely changed his attitude and started noticing when his daughter tried to manipulate him and exclude me.

Like, he went from "Awwwwh sooo adooorable how she tries to wedge herself between us in the sofa, she just want us to hooold heer because the divorce (which she definitly cannot remember bc she was a baby) just messed her up soo baaad, so pooor thing just neeed attentiooon, boohoo." to "Stop trying to push my girlfriend out of the sofa! If you want to sit with us just sit over there and let me snuggle with my girlfriend!"

She stopped almost instantly when it didnt work anymore, she tried taking over the evening about three times after I started to walk out when she did, and when he started correcting her behavior she stopped completely. Now she has learned that to get attention from us she must be nice to us both.

Remember, being a stepparent means you got to look out for 2 kids: bioparent AND the kid, and none of them have to take orders from you. You need to convince them, not demand them to smarten up.