*New Here* Mixed emotions on what my step daughter just said to her dad.....
Hey everyone, Im Sophie.
I am new at this but just signed up to have people to talk to who are also step parents.
My partners little angel is staying over tonight ( shes 5, 6 in April) We only see her once on a sunday, then have her friday/saturday the next week and it goes like that.
We currently live in a static caravan (one of the big holiday ones) in my other halfs parents garden but we are buying our own house in july.
His ex ( his daughters mum) is now married and has another child with a different bloke. For the last year she has been pretty much been staying round some other persons house (a husband and wife and their 2 kids)for some reason, so he husband is left to look after her two kids (he is very nice and does a great job) She only sees her kids like 2 times a week
Anyway...
My partner was tucking his lil girl into bed and she turned to him and said " Daddy when you and Sophie get your new house, Can i ask Alex if i can come live with you two. Then Sophie can be my real mummy and mummy can just be my step mum"
Im happy that she looks up to me like that, but i know my place. I don't tell her to call me mummy but i am there for her and when she is in our care i protect her like my own (im not just going to cast he asid because shes not my blood)
But this has upset me and my other half that she doesnt want her mum to be her mum anymore, and she is clearly not happy living when she is (we already knew this.) We want to take action and get Sole Physical Custody for her just because we know she would be happier with us (this is not about point scoring against his ex)
Its made me feel a little down as i just dont know what to do or how to feel about this :/
Huh. A firetruck. I assumed
Huh. A firetruck. I assumed you wanted to grow four wheels and make loud alarming noises while running red lights?
Well Alex cannot if I
Well Alex cannot if I understand it correctly as he has a different father. Make that clear from the start. Then tell her that eventually a man called a judge will make a decision and everyone will just have to wait and see what s/he says.
Be careful of what you hope for you just might get it. To understand that poke around and see some of the questions others are asking.
I wouldn't touch that button
I wouldn't touch that button for all the money in the world.
I wouldn't want my skids living with us EVER.................
I totally agree! I have ss13
I totally agree!
I have ss13 living full time with us. He played my DH like a fiddle to come and live with us. Said how awful his BM and stepdad are to him. Wasn't true at all. The problem is this kid didn't like living by their rules and and figured he would play with DH guilty dad syndrome. DH never disciplines him. Ss13 is a disrepectful, obnoxious, self - centered brat.
I have been listening to this little monstrosity jibber jabber all night in the living room with DH while I hide out in my bedroom. I don't know how DH can tune him out!
I am withdrawing more and more each day. I don’t want to do anything for this kid anymore because he is never satisfied and constantly complains. The sound of his voice just makes me shutter.
Trust me when I say that Skids learn at an early age how to manipulate. His sister who is 17 was the same way. I have been with dh for over 9 years. Not sure if I can do this anymore. My marriage is suffering due to the little "Cinderfella". He expects our household to revolve around him.
Don't be fooled! Like buterfly said, don’t touch that button!
Welcome Sophie, I hope you
Welcome Sophie,
I hope you find this to be a good place to vent, contribute and pick up some useful perspective from others who are living the blended family dream.
Congratulations on being the REAL mom to your SD. Kids are smart. They know who is in their corner and who is parenting them from the perspective of the kid's best interests.
At the age your SD is I would take her comment as the absolute truth from her perspective and keep doing what you are doing. As you progress in your blended family life when the time is right and your DH has compiled all of the evidence, documentation, etc... of BMs toxic behaviors then he can go for custody which is obviously what is in the SD-5 based on her own child clarity of the situation.
I became StepDad to my SS-21 when his mom and I married a week before he turned 2yo. Though his Bio Dad has always been in teh picture at least for periodic visitations, I am the only REAL dad he has ever had. He knows who his REAL dad is and he always has. Not that we did not have the periodic drama over Step Dad Vs. Bio Dad Vs. REAL dad.
You will figure it out.
From the sound of it this little girl is very lucky to have you in her life.
Take care of yourself.
Sincerely,