This has nothing to do with the child or with being parents.  When you get your hair done, a man who cares for you does not criticize it.  A man who cares for you does not criticize your clothing when you get dressed up.  He does not fail to compliment or encourage you except when his needs are being serviced.  He's delusional if he thinks the only thing that matters is the child, and he's even more delusional if he thinks romance goes out the window because you're parents.  And, to be accurate, HE is a parent, not you.  He should be thanking you profusely and treating you like a queen because you are helping with his child and treating the child well.

Under no circumstances should you feel selfish for feeling this way.  He is not treating you the way you deserve to be treated.  Do not let him tell you otherwise.

Ask yourself why do you think he is really dating you? Is it because he is looking for someone to take care of his children? To be their mom and love them like their own? Is it so he isn't alone? Because he needs a bedmate? Or is it because he wanted to prove to himself/BM/whoever that he has moved on from his previous relationship? 

If you answered yes to any of those then you need to take the first bus out of that relationship beause NOPE, it is NOT going to work. You can keep trying to make the pieces fit but eventually he will suck the life out of you and beat you down to what he needs/wants you to be.....don't let him do this. Be with someone who inspires you to live your dream job, someone who wakes up every morning upset they have to go to work NOT because it's work and it sucks, but because they have to leave you. Take into consideration that he might be a narcissist who caught your energy and is feeding off of your supply. He likes it when you compliment him, love on him, have sex with him, take care of is child and do the things he wants to do. What about you? You said he complimented you in the beginning, well that is the first stage of narcissist. They lull you into a false sense of seurity while they start snipping away your lifelines to your friends (don't want to be social with them, wants to do "kid" things, etc) and then the using, gaslighting, projecting will all start. Look up Narcissism on pinterest and there are plenty of links here as well, make a check list and see if he falls into the cycle. He could just be a guy looking for a woman to replace his ex in his household (don't do that either) or not. Either way make sure he is dating you because he actually is interested in you and not what you can do for him. 

I think there is a possibility that your relationship is heading towards abuse of some kind - he seems very controlling. Most absive men don't start out that way, they build up to it.

"I've been trying to improve on every issue he has reported to me." This makes me think he tells you what you do wrong and you try to fix it. Does this work in reverse? Does he try to change things that bother you that you report to him?

"If I get my hair done, he criticizes it, and my clothes when I do feel like dressing up." This is a classic sign of an abusive man.

"He doesn't do it all anymore, unless I'm horizontal and sans clothing if you catch my drift. Even then its doesn't seem gentle." If you want him to be gentle and he won't - that is abusive behavior.

"...when I'm around I do the feeding, cleaning, packing, bathing and washing. I get that he has to do it for a time until I get there, but I would still like it to be a joint effort." You both work full time and you also go to school - why does he stop doing these things when you arrive? He should be taking care of his child. The amount of help you want to give him is entirely up to you, and he should show that he appreciates it - not assume you are going to do it and criticize you when you don't.

"...none of that really has a place because we are parents..." No, you are not a parent. You are the girlfriend of the child's father. Even if you were married, you would not be a parent. Don't let him use the "package deal" idea as a way to make you care for his child.

My sense is that you are fairly young. You are clearly a together woman who is going places since you work, are in school, and also doing an internship. Don't let this relationship get in the way of your promising future. There are lots of good men out there.

As one of the males on the site I would like to personally punch this ahole in the face !  I wish my wife would put herself before the children more and get her hair done or get dressed up.

Sounds like what the ladies are telling you is correct, this guy is on the abuse path, get out now before it gets worse.

Any guy who behaves like this is not a real man he's a pathetic excuse for a human being.

I truly do not understand how such people exist. I am super sorry that he won't adjust he behavior. His child is not yours, so in many ways, he shouldn't expect that you take care of it or make it your focus. 

That child is ultimately only beholden to him and his biological mother (if she is in the picture or not). 

I am in a relationship where my partner expects nothing of me in regards to her stepchild and that is really the only way to do it. All my help I give in that area is voluntary and my wife doesn't expect it of me. 

Yeah, I would say get out! 

"He says I need to learn to discipline, but gets on to me when I put her in time out. It's like I can never do right. I need help."

That was from your blog from earlier in the month. And it sums up your situation pretty well. You are not her parent and you know this, as you feel uncomfortable physically disciplining her (inapprpriate, is the word I believe you used). 

Honey, you are being used by this man. Please get out of this situation. I do not see any scenario where this situation will get any better for you. 

Sounds to me like the 'ol bait & switch. He romanced you long enough to hook you, now all he wants is for you to take care of his kid (and his own sexual needs).

You can do better. Time to bail & run.