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Leave your partner ?

Lea01's picture

Would you leave your partner because of their child from their previously failed marriage even though everything between you both is good..it’s just everything that comes with it..

Has anyone left their loved one?

Husband's wife's picture

That the only reason we could break up is his boy with another lady. Other than that our family and life in general is just perfect. 

Siemprematahari's picture

If the child is causing me my peace, happiness and sanity..............

ABSOLUTLEY!!

No one is worth losing myself for.....No one!

Evil3's picture

If you decide to leave, you wouldn't be leaving because of the child. The issues relating to the child are the bio parent's fault. If your spouse is allowing his brat to act in ways that negatively impact you and your marriage, then everything isn't great. It might be that everything else is great, but that one issue, your spouse's enabling of his kid's bratty, disrespectful behaviour, is not great.

I almost left my DH more than once due to his enabling my SKs. I had SS28 toking up in my house that I lived in with a young DD19 (also DH's DD), I had a mini-wife on steroids who shunned me in my own home for over 7 years, and the list goes on and on. My DH is very conflict-avoidant when it comes to his brats. He's a wonderful man in every other aspect, but the one issue that I needed fixing the most was the one thing DH was not prepared to give me: keeping his ferals in check.

If you are considering leaving, do not feel guilty. It wouldn't be on the kid. It really is on your spouse.

shamds's picture

if skids behaviour, disrespect and attitude are issues. You know things like mini-wife syndrome, disrespect, shunning, abuse, no respect of boundaries or privacy etc and just basic civility. 

Because once skids continue with this behaviour and their parent doesn’t nip it in the butt, things between the couple cannot be good because your partner isn’t addressing these issues

when there are issues with skids, there are even more issues with their parents for allowing that shitty behaviour to continue

Thisisnotus's picture

There shouldn't be any problems with the child if the relationship was perfect. I would need examples of why the child is a problem?

My skids and BM are a huge huge huge headache for me....and I often don't know how I can continue living my life this way...b/c it is not living...I am merely surviving barely....but at the end of the day...the fact that BM and skids cause any issues is b/c of my DH....if he would put an end to the BS...we would have ZERO issues with skids or BM. But he can't and he won't.

So make sure your blame isn't on the wrong person....b/c I once blamed skids and BM...but it is 100 percent on my DH.

Curious Georgetta's picture

If you cannot compartmentalize your life or tolerate your life as it is in full, you should make changes to accommodate your own interest and needs.

Every divorce has a reason or a cause. It maybe money. Infidelity, kids or incompatibility . Does the cause really matter? The outcome is the same - 2 people who could not live happily together.

Gracefulsilver's picture

When you reach your limit you have to leave.  I do not like or even want to speak to my SD but the problem is SO let's her run out of control.  Everyday I loose more and more respect for him and I'm on the verge of walking especially after this morning (he was overhwlemed and running in circles trying to get to BM asap because she is in the hospital..when I was in the hospital almost dying he didn't make effort to be there with me, even going as far as calling my at 3:45am to go on a rant about his other BM).  I told him about it and he got mad.  I am so ready to walk.

Rags's picture

If your SO is such a failed parent that his spawn is interfering in your relationship things betwee you and your SO are far from good.

Do not let the tingly emotion of early love cover the crap.  Crap is crap no matter how you may feel about SO at the moment.

What do we do with crap?  We flush it.

captjacksprrw's picture

Personally, I elected to stay because I am madly in love with my DW and she with me.  However, the last 5 or so years cost me my sanity and we are definitely doing much relationship rebuilding.  Recently, I went from clueless to AHA that the problem was she ad I far more than the kids.  We (not just her as I have a role too) never set boundaries and established household behavior expectations.  I'm working hard to get past some resentment and anger and not let that impact current growth. 

Yes, the little 'darlings' in society are out of control but I look first in the mirror with she and I both standing in front of it ... That is where the issues start