Im not a parent...
I never thought I would hear this out of DH's mouth but yup he said it. 
The conversation wasn't even about the SS's. We were talking about a 21 year old neighbor who took in the next door neighbors 15 year old son and 17 year old dog. They are a very young couple that are waiter/waitress and party long into the night. I said I feel for the kid and the dog and that maybe we could offer to take in the dog for the remainder of its years.
The reason I offered is less than a week after they took in the dog a friend of theirs was leaving their party he backed over the dog hind end and didnt take him to the vet. Said he is slowly healing but has a hard time getting around. We have the money to take him in and take him to the vet.
He got nasty and said "oh you will take in the dog but not the kid" My face :jawdrop: !!! I said if you want to offer to take him in too then ok. We will do what we can.
He answered with "your not a parent - you dont understand" Wow!! i just walked away
The hell? You were being
The hell? You were being sympathetic to a wounded animal, trying to HELP, and he attacked you like that? He owes you a BIG apology. HUGE.
He does owe an apology. Just
He does owe an apology. Just in my mind right now I'm wondering where it came from. Is he thinking that I'm not a good enough SM because I don't have any bio kids? I love his boys and support them!
I think you have to ask him,
I think you have to ask him, when you guys are both calm. That comment seriously came out of left field, which means it pushed some internal button for him - and a good talk about that could be helpful to both of you.
Just remember during that conversation that it's an internal issue FOR HIM. It is NOT your issue. What I mean by that is there is nothing you can do to fix it. Nada. Zip. Zero. You could be Mother F'ing Theresa as a step-mom and he would STILL have whatever this issue is. HE has to be the one to work on it and fix it, whatever it is.
It could be minor - a weird combination of stressers that just happened to set him off that day. Or it could be not-so-minor, long term guilt over "breaking up the family" or whatever. If it's not so minor, you might want to suggest he see someone. But you won't know until you talk to him and find out what brought this on.
That is an odd thing to throw
That is an odd thing to throw at you when you're trying to help a neglected animal.
I'm not familiar with your back story, do you have promblems with his kids? Has he wanted them to come live with yall and it wasn't something you really wanted?
Our back story is I have
Our back story is I have known him for over 25 years. He and the BM dated for about 3 months when she got pregnant with SS16. They married when he was 4 and she had SS12 right after. SS12 was only 6 months old when they divorced. She remarried 4 years ago and the boys live with them during the week. DH and I have been living together for 5 years. We have them every weekend and most weeknights for sports, etc where we pick up, feed and drop off. We have let them know that at ANYTIME they want to live with us we will discuss and see what can be done. I have no problem with them living with us. The only thing that would change is that they will have to do their own laundry, dishes and help with chores around the house. (I get the laundry and cleaning done during the week so we can have quality time with them) I get along great with both of the boys and maybe he is lashing out because there are times when he gets made at BM and their SF for not contributing, showing up for events, etc and tends to yell at them about her. I tell him - yell at her not at your children. They have no say in what they do.
The dog can change households
The dog can change households with nothing more then handing the dog over to the next person willing to take responsibility. Not so with any child. Childrens services, the parents, and the court system are involved. Just try taking a child that is not yours to a doctor or try sighning them up for school and there is a major problem.
Wow, he's an asshole. You
Wow, he's an asshole.
You offered to take a DOG. It's not weird to say "gee if you don't want to deal with the expense of a dog I'll take it off your hands" (BTW, call animal control and report the dog getting run over and no medical attention. they may remove the dog, if they determine it needs attention, and you can adopt it through them. Just make clear to them you'll pay the vet bills and take the dog in when you make the report.)
It's entirely different to be like, "so, if you don't want that kid I'll take it"
He's an idiot.
Yes, a poor, helpless dog is
Yes, a poor, helpless dog is exactly the same as a 15 year old kid. What a doofus.