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I'm losing my home because I can't live with SD

tprose's picture

I really don't know where else to go. I fell in love with a man with has a 9yr SS and 14yr SD. I love the SS. Their mom abandoned them and he has let me step into her place. We bought a home together and ever since moving in the SD has become a nightmare. She doesn't speak to me, rolls her eyes if I'm in the room, complains about what I cook and has even started throwing my stuff away. He and I fight every night about it and I think tonight is the last. I feel like I'm losing everything over the fact I can't tolerate the way she treats me.

sammigirl's picture

If you bought this house together, throw your DH out to the curb; if the SD doesn't want to stay, she's welcome to go too. Tell your DH until he respects you and helps you parent, he's out. Don't leave your house.

Stand up to them! Don't fight about it. Ask you DH to help you out here with these children and help you set some boundaries and stick to them. If he doesn't agree, out he goes. He's the problem here. SD14 is a normal teen. Teens tend to roll their eyes and do not like anyone that my show authority, no matter who they are. Your SD is probably feeling that you have her Dad's attention and she is getting none from him.

You need support in parenting, so ask for it; then take the situation in control.

tprose's picture

I bought the house together. I have terrible guilt leaving the house but I can't live with such hostility.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Sorry this is happening to you. She sounds a lot like my SD. Stop doing anything for her. Let dh do it all.

I also have a great relationship with my ss. So our situations are similar. Your life will get better if you decline to do any caretaking of the girl. No shopping, no rides, no cooking.

You will fight less and you can refocus on your relationship a bit. Meantime, Dad ought to get sick of doing for her and it will open his eyes somewhat.

When he starts to argue with you about her, remind him you're doing fine with ss --you are not at fault, you have success with someone who is willing to accept you. Nothing you can do about someone who won't.