I'm 25 and I can't have children and I'm trying not to feel sad about it.
I just discovered this place and then realized that there's a board for stepparents who don't have their own kids. I've been posting a lot the last few days, i'm probably getting obsessed! But on the other board I didn't share the fact that I can't have children of my own because that just seemed irrelevant since I was looking for advice on my stepdaughter's mom. Anyway, I've been married for a year to a lovely man who is 10 years older than I am, he's been divorced for 3 years and has a 5 year old daughter and I love her very much. I'm 25 years old and always thought I'd be a mom but 3 years ago I had a complete hysterectomy due to medical issues. My husband and I have talked about adopting and we're both open to it but right now we're focusing on making a family with his daughter. Some days when I'm alone I cry thinking about the child I'll never have and then I feel selfish because my SD is so sweet. But she's not mine, you know? She lives with us full time and sees her mom 1-2 weekends a month so I do all th things a mom would do and take care of her all the time but I will never be her mom. None of my friends are married much less stepmoms! I just feel so alone sometimes. Thanks for listening.
Sorry! I don't know why this
Sorry! I don't know why this posted twice!
Seems to be happening a lot
Seems to be happening a lot lately. I think the servers are slow and people are hitting the button several times before getting a reaction.
I'm sorry to hear of your misfortune. My wife and I just heard of her 27yo niece having the same operation a few days ago.
Try counseling. Those guys have a multitude of solutions one never thinks of. I'm sure there are on-line forums and large medical centers may have support groups in you live nearby.
I've read of sisters volunteering to carry a child artificially inseminated by their sisters husbands sperm. Sometimes not artificially.
Personally I'd adopt a needy infant from Asia. Half Caucasian half Asian children are not accepted in Asian countries and there is a need for those adoptions.
OMG is right. Everything
OMG is right. Everything about that post is jaw dropping. :jawdrop:
I offered to carry my younger
I offered to carry my younger brothers child......his wife is 10 years older than he is and had to have an emergency hysterectomy after the birth of her first son (my brothers step son)....before they married, they discussed another child and I offered to "bake" it for them...is that weird then!???? :?
They looked at other surrogate too...decided against it in the end
Thanks for all the
Thanks for all the suggestions. Right now we're concentrating on my husband's daughter, we've been married for only a year! But we are talking about adoption. Surrogacy isn't an option for me because they removed both of my ovaries during my hysterectomy. I'm just feeling sad that I'll never be pregnant or have my own child or have a child with my husband that's a little part of both of us. It's okay, it's part of God's plan I have to trust that. But sometimes I get really sad even though I love SD so much, I see her dad and her mom in her and I realize that I'll never have that. I'm glad we have SD full time, I love her! But sometimes its hard to do all the mom's things and then not be a mom and know that I'll never be a mom. Mother's Day was harder than I thought it would be! I won't go into it here, i wrote about it on another board but I helped SD make her mom a gift (she's only 5!) and it opened up all kinds of anger in BM. Plus I was dealing with my own grief on mother's day. It's just really hard sometimes.
You'll be a Mom one day. You
You'll be a Mom one day. You just want have any flabbbulous stretch marks to show off.
In fact, being a mother by adoption or fostering, is pretty awesome. You get all the perks of being Mom and no stretch marks or battles scars or expensive hospital bills. You'll still get sticky baby kisses and beautiful jewels that took allll day for baby to find or make that still suspiciously look like macaroni and pebbles.
And if Skid ever says something like "Well your adopted anyway!" Your kid can come back with "You're darn right I am, Mom and Dad chose me out of thousands of other kids! They just got stuck with you!"
I can only begin to imagine
I can only begin to imagine how difficult it can be sometimes to come to terms with not being able to carry your own child. I guess sometimes its manageable and other times it must be simply awful.
I think you are right in just concentrating on your SD at this point and I hope you do look more into adoption when the time is right. Like MamaFox says, your child will be able to have that extra security in knowing that they were chosen.
I can't have kids either. No
I can't have kids either. No issue though. My marriage to my amazing bride is my blessing with the bonus of my SS who I have raised as my own since his mom and I married a week before he turned 2yo. Sure, the Sperm Idiot is in the picture but my son has no respect for him. My son is the eldest of the Sperm Idiot Spawned all out of wedlock half sibs by 3 different baby mamas. #2 truly detests the Sperm Idiot though #3 #4 who share the same mother think that the Sperm Idiot is pretty cool because he plays video games all day and night with them and they are living the Sperm Idiot's dream of being gangbangers. He tried for years to become either a Crip of a Blood but they don't take Opie Cunningham looking white guys. Spawn #3 and #4 are biracial and have juvenile gang activity records and gun violations.
My point is that it can be disappointing when you are physically incapable of having children but only if you make the choice to be disappointed.
My issue is a varicose vein of the scrotum thing that makes things too hot for viable sperm production. Maybe too much info to share but I wanted you to know that you are not alone and that a guy can be supportive from somewhat related first had experience.
Enjoy your life and take care of yourself.
Sincerely,