How do you face the reality of only ever being a step-parent?
I’ve been a step-parent now for 10 years and took on my SK’s when they were both still in nappies. Although I had no idea what I was getting into and would never have chosen this life if I did (but that’s another story) I established at the very beginning with DH that we had no future together unless he was prepared to have more kids (which he agreed).
So the plan was always to be raising my own kids along with the SK’s but unfortunately life doesn’t go to plan and I haven’t been able to have any kids of my own.
I’m currently on my last ditch round of IVF now and the odds are very low so I’m really starting to think (and freak out) about what my life looks like as just a step-parent.
And I’ve got to say it looks horrendously depressing.
I feel so much resentment about all the burden and stress the SK’s have added to my life and how that might have impacted my infertility. I also feel so much resentment and depression about the fact that I have another decade of this life ahead of me and the worst (ie teenage years) is yet to come.
It’s not like I can have the life of someone without kids – ie travel, freedom etc. I’ve got all the responsibility, financial commitment and sheer hard work of having kids but without any of the perks (ie biological bond and love).
This week was the first time I really thought seriously about whether I would stay with my husband if it does turn out I can’t have a child. I really love DH and can’t imagine my life without him but I honestly can’t imagine another decade of sacrificing so much of my life and future for his kids – it’s just so unrewarding and unfulfilling.
I’m wonder if anyone else has been in this boat and how they dealt with it?